The human beings is selfish by nature as a way of survive that in the whole set of the journey is not more that an imaginary reality which is delevoping permanently in our inner without breaking times to be able to breath by consciousness, then in that way second a second go accumulating more and more information, so in some way have to be the enough clever to classify all of that trail of noise as well, means that must throw away in a huge porcentage of that, so from my point of view is unavoidble to be able to look far away from the covers, a strong impact that if don’t take care about it, comes back with too much force that will never want to separate from us, four details have a greate influence about it:
- Our genetic or those genetic that create in us some kind of confort although after the inner can say something completaly opposite about that really need or even should move on.
- The external motivation that doesn’t have any relation with a level of intrinsic motion, really is based in feel a temporal confort that are lugging us to avoid a face up with reality that neve is going to hide by many efforts that we pretend to do with it.
- The magnament of our experiencies or like prefer to say out, our level of exposuring about them, it means as have grabbed the uncontables lessons that each one of experiences have in saving for eveyone of us.
- Our actual emotional state. On my point of view are in very narrow relation with the point number three, but also in the way that wish to face our journey up, an change of vision change everything on.
A point that all them have in common is that are an authentic crusher of predjuices, means a need of trying to seek some kind of identification that can find its place about the unreal confort that can confirm that need the fakes address of our senses on special that three (Vision, Hearing and Touch), so that purpose were permanently using TAGS, yes, gentleman and ladies, place TAGS on for all, reducing permanently our potential but about all blocking once behind other that the neigbour can teach you something new every day. Let me explain it with examples that you are able to understand more easier.
” Remind that level of intensity and repeatition will always be allies tremendously dangerous to that brunch the predjuicies so crowded of TAGS ¨
Well, although have millions of examples to expose out, let me to come back to the grounding that built in my own Compassionate Observation:
When I had 16 or 17 years old, was a boy that every day suffered bullying, abusing and all kind of that issues on, a day, after that our route (my school was outside of the city) left us in our parade, then was to take a public bus to go to play tennis, a stop later on, a guy was boarding on the bus, that guy was the leader of the my school´s group that made my day to day didn´t easy at all, then the situation in the bus opened the door of my heart without limits, that guy didn´t have anthing in relation with the guy who was inside of the school, and also an old woman with her stick was the responsible that could see it much more clear, that guy was the leader yes, he was, but he needed really help, about all from my side that unique could offer him was compassion, although after of that day, he kept to all the group in the same direction against my person, didn’t matter, that were on the floor and everyone start to kick me on everywhere of my body, or pushing me, or through away my tray of food or whatever other issue worst happen around on, my compassion kept intact in, was my duty.
Following with that experience had other fact that was still more courious and that would create more fire to situation, a component of the group lived on my neighborhood, then I decided to join in a group of confirmation of the church, that group was composed by 11 people, but 7 of them were so closed friends from the neighbourhood, so made that the other four and me were more closed, but one few weeks later, didn’t come back any more, while other had plenty absences, so just were me and other guy, and this guy was one of the component of that big group from my school who made my journey there so difficult, however his behaviour in the church was completely different, even a period after, the behaviour in the school was smoothest but wasn’t enough, had too much cautions to don’t get out the group, special about that famous TAG that people would saying about ( ” El Que Dirán…”)….
IF YOU CLICK IN THE PREVIOUS ARTICLE THAT SHARED WITH YOU, IN THE MIDDLE ON BLACK, I PLACED OTHER EXAMPLE HAPPENED IN A SCHOOL WHEN STUDIED PHOTOGRAPHY THAT WOULD BE PERFECTLY TRANSFERIBLE TO THAT CONTEXT THAT TRY TO TALK ON.
Well, When I was living in KIlburn, north west London, the next neighbourhood after the famous area wher find the Abbey Studios, so in that house during long time were all woman and me, so 4 girls and my person, with one of them who worked in the same place than me as well, simply the passage of time, a little of patience and be humble day by day, made that just days before her departure, even few months before of that pandemic created in an interesting chat touching different subjects. Well but the other case, happened with the other lady was still more brutal, because that girl during eight months was so rude with me, she never told with me, however the girls were leaving the home, her friend as well, started to come some new people, then a day had a huge invasion of mouses inside of the kitchen, so she didn´t have more choice that come me, then I was downstairs.
Once there, as I am always on everywhere, a boy with a lot of humor, calm, very relaxed but about all that always take all the weigh out, means that grab a level of empathization, compassion very strong, obviously that behaviour in moments of survival transmit too much peace, then the girl so scare with the mouses moving around more and more through of the kichen, as also was very worried because thought that had to pay more money to buy a new laundry, however my person eased it in very few seconds, apart of sending out smiles and look the situation as something ordinary, finally solved the issue, while knew that the mouses were who have bitten the cables of the Laundry and destroyed some area more from the kitchen; then definitely she loosed everything out, relaxed completely, after threw against my chest, give each other an intense hug, then move her head, said her, it is ok, relax, it was not a great deal, our heads was barely milimetres once each other, if had wanted to have been able to kiss her, however I am a very good boy and would never grab someone in a stated of vulnerability as explained in other post/article, so the thing finished on that way, even offered to exchange my room or even could sleep on my bed and me on the floor if she was going to fee most comfortable than to be in her room that night as some that other mouses have moved up.
After of that day till the day that both departured from that home (dates before the PLAN-DEMIC began) her behaviour to me was totally opoosite about as was during the first eight months, what kind of things did she made that huge behaviour’s change?, it was simple, when you break a first layers that are working as a level of protection so let you to see a reality totally distorted about that it was, so we are blocking information befor to receive it, as said on my article about dimensional cube, finally are focusing in a only area, when the figure has to be moved to the rest of different areas is when will start to see much more information that although are not able to understand or even can create a feeling of uncertainty in some way mix it up with a real need of survival push us to make an effort that must be willing to go there even without the need of survival as have to come for personal challenge to find our own identity as person in.
Although could follow to place on much more examples as lived in Spain lived in different context, familiar business, social areas, my own village or other schools when studied different items or even obviously on many issues lived in diferent kind of of context in UK, apart of the example about the mouses commented above, some of them also beginning from the nothing to lift it up, let me to go to my recently experience grabbed in my last job, The Claridge’s Hotel (Spa Department), well here mustn’t stuck in the spa department if not that justly even extend ours hands to other departments, said that because there are human beings that many times are ignored for the rest, justly as have explained above and will finish later down that the people didn’t stop on them being very disrespectful, but after get to make feel human and then pay you with a smile, cultural exchange and sit down with you to talk in the canteen; Really that PLAN – DEMIC haven’t changed too much things the rythm of the things, should say that the opposite cross from a corner to other and doesn’t care that other people can be feeling in while make a feeling of beliefs that our perfomances must be a flood of cynicism that is where place down to all that people that don’t have or have been able to find their own inner resources yet.
Honestly, my job in the temporary Spa till that were opening the new one (which won’t be there), was squeezed in the maximum level of inner demanding to use the COMPASSIVE OBSERVATION with every piece of the team, with some people on more intensity than others, but also without bringing all the potential on, however I am super self-criticism with myself, means that innerly need to demand on myself a high level about that I am delivering out, because there are moments that in psychology are known as THE TRIGGERS, that are KEY MOMENTS, means that in relation to our actual emotional state the way about that are going to take the relation with the rest ones or even ourselves, will create a turn around of events that pull up everything that is going to happen there, as obviously the TRIGGERS are not uniform, so have an extense variability in intensity, volume and resistence (durability), when one (my person) have failured in one of the most dangerous TRIGGER that have been living on there, where if have been there, don’t have doubt that have brought all my strong character out over there, but once that mistake was done with a very anchor holding down. ¿What could do after that?
Exactly, we needed to use the COMPASSIVE OBSERVATION, but anyway were something that I was using on from the first day, really is somethingh that is commig included in my inner, but with the level of demand totally changed drastically, there was that change some details instead of stopping in a feeling of impotence that could be devasting if let that was coming out, so brought out a change on my vibes that was placed about the table through different resources on, did it work on?, Yes, I did, got that every piece of the team bring out responds very different, but obviously wasn’t enough at all, because if remind the example lived around of my school commented above, must be enough aware that in a thing is who is our person by itself and other thing is who really are when are in group, because create very fast a feeling of belonging, means want to fix or simple to get joining there in a very silent way without being conscious in what area we are placing our inner traveling, a direction that is only belonging us, and where rarely will found a honest way on parallel between all the pieces of a same group but interferences cognitives and conductives will go to be clearly observable on.
So will simply exist a need to drain out the emotional state that everyone have on that instanct, once are in a group like that, if we are so brave to develop/show our creativity out, won´t like at all to many of the components, so between who are laughing the jokes to don´t get to be the next “victim”, or who prefer to save silence as accomplice (coward) or the own leader who is calling the attention in the way that think that is unique to resquest some kind of help, then to keep stuck in a group that to see the happinesss in the other is not comtemplate in their rules or even simply to see that are able to throw to our challenges, means the enough power to take our person as PRIORITY without having fear to face the risk up, so want to keep us in that immovable status that create on them a inner feeling that is not going to talk us the truth ever although their gestures as by word as gestural will never lie.
CONCLUSION. DEVELOPMENT OF A COMPASSIONATE OBSERVATION.
Surely, many of you have thought that to be able to develop a COMPASSIONATE OBSERVATION can be something innate, sincerely, let me to say you, that I am a human being that everything can develop in, all will come in from points of impact that obviously get to have a function like TRIGGERS, in many cases as Primary TRIGGERS, on my case was a basic rule that need to apply on, really will never see to put my voice up with a partner or whatever ordinary context, because I embrace the dialogue, the absolute right that a human being create a kind or other of inner feelings that make them to feel in some way or other, means to be so clear with you, that actual CARLOS, never is never will get in to the game of POWER OF THE REASON, still haven´t talked about it here on my web.
That POWER OF THE REASON obviously would place us so far way to be able to use the COMPASSIONATE OBSERVATION, because COMPASSIONATE OBSERVATION, don’t have ego, the SELF is not placed as first (Don’t it make confusion with the PRIORITY commented before), also you have a devotion place everything small detail that is moving on, like that as level of conscious that is connected with the situation that remind you that when are in a group that the level of self-consciousness is going to be interrupted for the mix the energies up from the rest of the components if don’t pay the enough attention, even like that recognise that is tough get to catch up our consciousness without being get lost between midle of that, once that hold our consciousness, a minimum of processing of empathy is working on and then will walk through of different concepts to our stage of vulnerability, where will feel so comfortable that there will be nothing that can give us fear or put down in whatever context or group, if not that in some way to be able to manage all the information to bring out the opposite feelings that are observing or just suffering in, first develop a great compassion with ourselves but after bring it out to the rest the human beings, and then create a great level of anticipation as long as all factors let it happens on.
THE QUESTIONS THAT ONCE WAS MADE TO MY PERSON BETWEEN DISBELIEF FROM WHO THROW IT OUT ME..
So Carlos, Why are not you bringing out any kind of anger, fury, revenge, punishment, and a long etc as respond to them who are treating you so bad without mercy at all?. then that person continue said me, Carlos, I don’t know but surprise me that you keep to treat them like an ordinary way when they don’t let you to breath in with a lot of savage behaviours on…. (As said before, could add other Examples that could have writen on as well, about my experience in a boarding school with problematic guys gave me tools for that as well, as in other contexts, or my cohabitation in more homes here in London, because finished in the same line of action changed theirs perspectives or thoughts, means fixed beliefs to my person)
As say Wayne Dyer, ” if you change the way that you look at the things, the things you look change “. (that brought me once my mainly area of development was over).
Anyway that responded to that question, the first thing if you read that article again at least a couple of times, you will finde some answers about it, but also said that can’t make difference between good or bad, white or black, they are human problably needed more help than me, and that it was their way to scream out, please help me, please, because needed to hide us between any of the TAGS that the group or even the own social psychology is pushing us to grab a performance with some behaviour that will never represent which is our identity, those who define us but have a lot fears to bring it out, for that in the previous article told about the BOUNDARIES and throw the wall down without fearing about our choices that take on.
” Patterns of conduct are basically noticiable (cognitive, conductive,..etc), from my side just try to bring my heart, my hands and about all the emotional comprension that I am let to cross or that observe that the human need in that moment or even let me to catch it up on that moment, because them although look like that have everything or maybe nothing, but in both ase are empty are who need to receive a treat much more human, space and cleanliness to go up later on “.
There is a lot to explain on which keeps far away from my goal, probably nor will be understood at all, but hope have brought you some kind of consciouness, heart, humble but about all abilities to use the PERDON, is my basic tool but repond in every event from a powerful state of calm, serenity, wise and maturity about who have tried to respond to every example that you have read here and the infinites stories that could keep writting on and on.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH IF YOU ARRIVE ON THAT POINT OF THE ARTICLE FREE OF TAGS. My pleasure!!!.
ALWAYS PURE TENNIS!.
FDO. CARLOS AZUARA AGUADO.