JAMIE MURRAY. THE SPIDER AND THE MAN.

Dear reader if you have read my last three articles on relation of that saga of articles, at the moment there are four on, think that then there are many details that don´t need to be repeated and let myself to do introduction shorter. So, we can travel directly to the relevant facts about his figure and my relation with Jamie, that probably many of you have thought that everything has the same point of action, the Queen´s club, however the own life is much more fanciful than everyone can pretend to control on every point of that, means there are more places that have been more as relevant as funny and even loading of a lot of teaching inside.

Really is true that the first point where everything began was during my first Aegon Championship tournament, being his person once of most close to us, in that as said in other articles, could name just people like Willy, Robert, Pepe, Andre Sa, Leander Paes, Matt, Andy (Recognise that his presssence commands more respect to a short time of space)… and then can stop to count too much human beings that wallk wih presence around from they go…, so believe me, that after all of that is usually super relevant in their own performances (consistency and efficiency) on court between other many small things but with weight on the life.

During that first Aegon Championship Tournament (2014) on the skin of my body really could feel with Jamie a connection that the souls tallk by itself, because even although probably either he didn´t know that, our own inner experience of life (past) are not so different on live, so after our brain through of our unconscious side, that by the way an amazing world where keep yourself on challenge, usually is seeking to expand belong of that and grow up without limits if and when there is that predisposition, maybe the fears can block and get to influence in a way but will never do in the own way in itself, think that something like that was happening on. Well that fist approach the story stopped there, that was all.

Then, we arrive to the Davis Cup, there was less people on the dressing room, more space of time to interact between everyone even more information in a “slow” way to get to be observed in, however my destiny was addressing me with the French Team downstairs in the beginning, where by the way, although was so short, there was curiosities that paid me too much powerful the attention, and to be honest wasn’t to bring it in a positive way like their performances that after evincing it clearly; anyway when the french team throw away to everybody, my position come back to upstairs with the Great Bretain team, where surely without that choices my relation with Jamie have never been the same for sure, here let me to remind shortly that just from that moment is when I started to enjoy every second, instanct that lived inside of the Queen’s Club (Always will be so grateful to them), everything changed on me, put my inner in other level that already came in with a job done without pause it in any moment. Already there, during that days the communication with him even with some other players as with some parts of the team was step by step being much better, but is truth that who had paused in made it myself easier, but never one must be on depending as others act in, so there started to get a shy brave, because I was a simple assistant dressing room:

* Who would be willing to look inside of me? or better said,  how do you get to change in others (you are a strange for them) the perspective of looking at the things from an invisible position? (Ok, is true that the human being should treat between them for everything that they are in themselves however sadly it is barely happening around, much more with that speed of life that there is a jungle called city, and of course, well is needless to say through of that fucking actual situation, that the empty inners full of fears are doing a lot damage in the society, remind it is not going to walk with the label that identify your profession, doesn’t matter, the fear devastate with all that can find in its way).

An advice from one of my colleague (Polish one):

” Carlos, I know as is your passion for the tennis even as looking forward to delivery many things that must have inside but you are running too faster, you must stop and take a pause to take a speed totally different of that because in other way you will go to crash up. ”    (I will aware that he said me as well for another more reason as between others ones I am a human that work with order, dynamism about all in a narrow relation between the perfomance and the own impact in our body always seeking the most high efficiency without getting any damage, just to put your person in other level of performance, indpendently where I am working, means get more conscious with every hide detail)

On that point, the Davis Cup got over, the situation was kept like that to that on November arrived the trainings for the ATP Master Cup at the O2, everything was going like an ordinary day, simply tried to be friendly, generous and about all make that the day can be the most easy for everyone without losing ever a honest smile. Here, arrive once of that surprises of the life that many factors must be working together in the same time (energies) for that everything happen as it was happening, well, finished my journey on the club, once have finished it used to go back home by walking from the Queen’s Club to Putney Bridge (even sometimes directly at home) and after took the Bus 93, or other times just walk to Kings Road to swim a little bit before go back at home (although also could go to a different sports centre, depending of day or even situations outside of my own control), but that day, I don’t know why decided to take the underground (usually avoid it), went to Earl’s Court then change the district line to Wimbledon (where lived on that time), then when arrive to Putney Bridge saw a guy with amazing tennis bag got in, when put my head up, I coudn’t believe it, he recognised me first, we were talking for a while even later on the street as well in our respectives back ways because in short way was the same, till that said each other goodbye (the conversation is saving for myself, remind you as well that my website didn’t come on live till next year May of 2016, a small detail but really relevant), must recognise to feel myself during that situation a little bit lost, detail that will let myself explain you a little bit below with a bit more information so you will undestand it perfectly.

After of that, think that our feeling of confidence was different but in the same time the feeling of suspicion (“desconfianza o mosqueo”) came up as well, it was absolutely understandable, on the rest of the week our connection was up, remind on my mind perfectly some trainings even the court and the position of everyone, that fed strongest a way between both feelings, but felt that must be carefully, after all I was a new strange for all of them, and as Nick Kyrgios said after in an interview (I can’t remind if was on 2015 or just on 2016) but even saw and listened it inside of the dressing room, ” I don’t know if the people whom is coming next to me is just because really they want to help me or even just to take advantage about my person “, as was quite right the good guy called Nick Kyrgios!!!…  then like that we arrive to second aegon championship tournament (2016), here I have to remind you as said a little bit above as on my last article that from that point started to be more present and enjoy a lot, it gave me a lot of unexpected rewards as said on other times, with Jamie was not less limited as well, really everything was more fluent, humble in a space of wilderness human, means didn’t matter the labels on. After Wimbledon and The ATP Master Cup at the O2, the situations was walking like ordinary way, small feeds without disturb anyone too much.

Well like that the situation between us was over, and then would happen after during the next two years with my person already outside of the Queen’s Club (20th January of 2017), while spent one year and half in Spain, working with my coach, making tennis courses and assisting on congress, independently of if a paper could or maybe couldn’t identified me with a paper. As 2017 as 2018 when the Mutua Madrid Open arrived around usually got down many days but about all, spent the whole day there without stopping to watch tennis, means, ATP, WTA, Wheelchair, junior, trainings,..etc, because as have always repeated once by once the tennis is over names, is in the own sport and that can create on your inner if you place all your senses in one or other point of perspective, like a diamond, every angle will be different but rich on information to get in. 

Well, obviusly after of my experience at The Queen’s Club, even the way to see Wimbledon from that moment, as other situtions lived between Madrid, Barcelona and Mallorca Island, made me that when I went down to Mutua Madrid Open as whatever other tournament, obviously, on my inner there was situations that wanted to coming true just as grateful way between each other, that’s all, means that was able to meet someone while gave a big huge even if there was any chance to talk between two human beings, don’t lost the choice and grab it, on all that I had four names, because knew that were around and that had (hope that still have in) a great esteem to my person, it was Willy Garcia, Robert Bautista, Joan Ozón and Jamie Murray, everything was happening more or less as had on my mind, although had obstacles on, means that never get to plan on in that way, simply go diving to the ocean and let to flow it.

Then, come back with Jamie, we need to travel on 2018 although have arleady thought to do that on 2017, to be honest I thought that there wasn’t too much space of time from the last meet and that feeling of suspicion would be too much present yet, so rejected to do whatever thing that could create an image about me that wasn’t real and much more reasoning when the limit of time was short would get worst till minimum mistake, but anyway I was calm, present and with my own personality without being in a theater during that year, like that finished that year (2017); then arrived 2018, here really I had very clear that must take my person on action with all its consequences and factors to manage on, where of course never is never stop being myself in one or other corner, then such aready on that way, the opportunity came up without looking it at all, a tennis court on the corner, last time of the day, nobody there, well, you know on Madrid just Rafa Nadal exists but the rest of tennis is missing or even destroyed without commiseration (that is not a something that I just say, believe me have listened it in other spheres of tennis, but anyway with just to take your sit as spectator you feeling that shit so far away from the tennis must mean in).

Well dear reader, come back to the story without getting diversion in things that doesn’t matter so long, once that situation was there just interrupted for three crazy british ladies, fanatism without conscious, after that they dissapear was alone on the court and of course with absolute respect and nervous, because insist didn’t want that him could misunderstand my clear inner, took the enough brave “now or never” and asked him for his phone number so thought in the first moments that would take me back with a kick on my ass directly in to the dirty river that there was behind of us, lolol..but wow for my surprised his reaction was so humble that apart from giving a big hug and gave his number as well, evidentely had done a previous work put my honest feed step by step but never through of a interest more far away that the purely human, the rest would be facts collaterals but without the human side to be honest would never accept it, before rather leave to stick my person on the street than use a human being for my own interest, it would be unacceptable on my conscious.

In that way have finished the relation between each other, like you can see is look like a long tennis match, in a game that there is a spider that pound his nails on the net like a unbroken wall and a small mouse that usually is invisibe and could be step on whatever moment, the reflects and understand the enviroment that has around of him is a key without capability to argue at all, with all of that, we can travel to the year 2019, exactly previous day to the Mutua Madrid Open, already with the qualification on play, well, I had to travel to Madrid but it wasn’t about to visit the tournament, just was because my grandmother was in the 12 of Octubre hospital (don’t far away from the Magic Box, Mutua Madrid Open) really sick, sadly last year (2020) she passed away, then when I was at the airport waiting for my plane to bring back to London, saw a plane was arriving on my gate assigned, then the people started to get off from that, so was my surprise that between them came in Jamie and his wife, how many times could you get that everything work on the same way? (flight, time, date, didn’t be in toilet on that moment…etc…), nothing could be explained, just to enjoy and to be so much grateful that you could be, well, it was a very short chart with some questions on the air, that remind myself to respond it in a way very direct even probably sounded rude with the perception that could take an image from myself of a dirty and opportunist guy, I was the only one that knew that is not true but the image reflected or was reflecting other thing as two days or three days after of that situation was fairly blocked from the phone. 

In some way I thought, ok Carlos, the mistake is not going to change anymore, now come back London to work in the hotel where you are working, and few weeks later focus at Queen’s Club if you get tickets or just directly at the Wimbledon Championship, and try to go to other national tournaments, that are on the skylne, in some way to keep on your life, it was that made, however some colleagues from the job didn’t go to make it easy and even other situations around neither, but kept my person on without losing my generiosity and my hands on over those whom needed my help or at least was the situation that reflected on, because I can help on my inner is everything ready for that, but I will never get to control as other want to use that help in, at least from my side that there was nothing saving for other times, all my music was playing on, just there.

All that months between may 2018 to may 2019 while had him on the whatsapp as happened me with others very nice human being known also as beginning point the Queen’s Club, didn’t know as should be my behaviour, that could write on or maybe couldn’t, even as should be it done, means, the tone, verbal tenses….,etc… the unique thing that I knew is that must keep firm my personality, never lost my identity so means that keep mysef as I am on everywhere, same mood although the situation is being tough but never leave the things inside without expressing out, if it coud come together with a great influence to others, still with more reasoning to don’t lost who I am wihout taking care about the reaction of the others (except that it was for a damage created from my side). Once with that point so clear, knowing that could follow to play on the game with him (Jamie) because had the chance of english mobile, that wasn’t blocked, in fact for different reasons changed a couple times of numbers, started from beginning rebuilded the situation, my feeds were good, that I think, and on special also that surrealistic situation, absolutely inconsistent, something good could have in, that have helped that our positions are closest and we can see more clear now, that people that are really different, and about all to be honest have something that make of them, huma being really special but about all natural, like I can observe now in a beauty canandian woman, that is as looking a needle in a haystack, for that could cross away many years or a whole a life till somethig like that coming up again, for that human being deserve a lot to put all our fire on there.

Ah!, Why is he defined for myself as a SPIDER AND AN MAN?, If you have read all the article is obvious, anyway on my mind, from Pete Sampras, Mark Philippoussis, the Brain Brothers, even Martina Hingis in his good times and stil she is, haven’t seen someone that was absolutely a wall on the net as Jamie, in fact with a little bit less of the overthinking on the base line would be still more consistent, remind many trainings of him at Queen’s Club and other place, with issues specially on the backhand, but also haven’t had easy all to cohabitate with the surname being all time of the brother of Andy, specially remind the year before that my person to get involved at The Queen’s Club (2014-2017), I am talking about 2013 on Court 1, just got a ticket, curiously, although don’t believe in the coincidences, was to watch a much of Jamie and Brune against others, I can’t remind who was, but if remind perfectly that the whispers of the crowd throw out permanently on comparation with his brother were out of place, even as listened in other places, the understimated of his process of career is as limited as manipulated through of the medias who that you think for. 

Anyway is past, he deserve all the recognition as Willy,… and others players, probably if you love the tennis as should do it, then you will be able to catch up a little bit from everyone to go on that way to be a player but about all a human much more full up. Believe me will be much more integrated in all senses, well without saying, of course if you are keeping on tennis as coach, the healthy tools are in everywhere if you are able to see that widely.

Thank you very much Jamie Murray to your tremendous pattience on my person like that as your always the good mood displayed to my person even would say to everyone to make them feel as human being as a way to show grateful to their humanity and work that make or in that case made easy your development in every tournament that you get in.

Long Life to the JIM CARREY and THE SPIDER of the TENNIS, that his stage of perfomance independently if is on tennis or other platform, come to load in with that energy that create united till whatever adversity!!!.

ALWAYS TENNIS GOES OVER THE NAMES!!!.

ALWAYS PURE TENNIS!!!.

FDO. Carlos Azuara Aguado.

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