Well, dear reader, in the first two parts we have been talking about the influence of Religions, their spiritual variants , the great emotional weight of the media, a little history of PSYCHOLOGY in that struggle it has with Medicine. , pretending to cover fields that do not concern them and distracting themselves from the amount of information to analyze and apply, all also through the internal Psychological Chaos they have, and the intrahistory that has led them to this current point.
In this third and last section, on PSYCHOLOGY, based on my experiences, knowledge and coexistence with a lifelong phobia , which has been and continues to be the driving force, from the first stone of the foundation to the completion of a solid foundation , then going through the foundations, always varying the distributions with flexibility, until finding the unique and personal identity of oneself, without knowing where the roof may be, I will go fully into clarifying several of the most common and repetitive concepts , not only in the media, social networks, … etc. but in any type of conversation between people, where in my opinion, they are distorted, mixed and confused.
PSYCHOLOGY PART III
I will clarify the following concepts from my own definitions:
Sadness, fear, anger, self-control, control, motivation, self-esteem, threads of trust, attachments, empathy and assertiveness, ability, emotional intelligence, mental strength and mental agility .
Without forgetting the sports approach and coaching.
At first glance, it seems like a dark feeling, where everything comes crashing down on you, with no light or exit. On the other hand, it is also a very powerful weapon to make the rope of our self-esteem something solid and permanently strong, for this it is necessary to go through the suffering of sadness , remove the crying that the body asks of us, the two or three days necessary By expressing all our current feelings outside , let nothing be kept inside , then move on to the acceptance phase , and then wake up stronger than a previous phase.
In short, it is a suffering that we all must go through, without avoiding it, if we really want to grow, and that will depend on how we manage it and the way in which we let their teachings penetrate inside us to generate permanent internal change. that he has come to do.
“Knowing, feeling, that touch of the feet with the ground, having lived it there, not passing by or slipping on it, is an important starting point, to enter inside our own interior, investigate it, browse it, and from there, to put tools on it that allow us to fully communicate with our unique nature, through the meaning of life ”
It is a feeling full of nerves and a lot of respect for the situation you are experiencing at that moment, appreciating it with great intensity for the love that you project to said situational environment. It is necessary to have fear to show that authentic respect for each place we walk through .
Fear is a feeling generated by us, through our intolerant demands , the result of an absence of empathy , which comes from a weak self-esteem .
“A singer before entering a stage, fear of respect for the stage, is essential, however the increase in intensity of that fear, through the intolerant demands of the spectators gathered there, who if they are neglected are willing for the artist to eat the person behind (Good Music is hard to get out because of that and because of the prejudices already created). ”
“An athlete, being the imposing person for his role, with all the facilities in the world, crossing with many people in every corner, through the different cities and tonnes to which they go, it is easy for us to find ourselves in front of a person or people, that may be worthwhile, or generate reflections not posed in that way, conceived by us; however, you block yourself, not because of fear itself , which transmits that respect and emotional passion that is assumed to be working in these types of events (not always the case), but mainly, due to the lack of familiarity with said environment (experience tables), coupled with the enormous lack of empathy of the imposing ”
It is the uncontrolled explosion of our being when they take us to the point of maximum tension. Here comes into action, the management of emotions (control does not exist) with a fundamental role, with the aim of not entering the defensive game as an escape route used by the other party through their PSYCHOLOGICAL NOISE .
Having a self-knowledge , a self – esteem of ourselves, solid and strong enough, that allows us to go up steps, until we reach a knowledge and management of our emotions , is a very helpful tool in conflict situations, trying to anticipate the rises in tension and its outcome; if on the contrary, we cannot anticipate, because there is never control , no matter how much PSYCHOLOGY strives, since there are areas that are not in our management area, not depending on us, in this case, another fundamental tool would be using empathy to its fullest potential.
We must never take anyone to their maximum peak of tension , it is very irresponsible and simply extremely dangerous, but we have previously known how to evaluate and analyze the numerous information that is continuously given to us in every daily situation, warning us that in those peaks, their reactions do not they will be the most stable. In those high states, with anger already on the table, (like a swollen balloon and you let it go), the intensity, speed, strength and form that it can take is already unpredictable.
Let us not forget either, that what is important for our internal reconstruction, when high stress outcomes have been reached, is the need to assume our responsibility in the event of the events that have occurred, being the first basic and necessary step to reach the desired level of self – esteem .
“Anger, once at that point of explosion, pushes us to carry out actions without measuring the physical or internal hurtful consequences, causing other living beings, it is here, because we do not know how to read all the previous emotional information, we have not given a solution to anticipate an unpredictable explosion in its final development but predictable from the beginning of the journey through the different situations, loaded with information, bringing our hands to our heads surprisingly (subject treated in the first part of the article) “
I have already repeated it on more than one occasion, also in relation to control , they are terminologies horribly used in PSYCHOLOGY , which only invite the most absolute psychological chaos , it is like insisting that a monkey walks on two legs, when they really walk on all fours legs, and if we see that some monkey does not meet that natural value, it is that their personal identity has been uprooted . This in both monkeys and humans is a real savagery, a situation that sadly occurs in both monkeys and humans.
We are human, so what we have is SELF-MANAGEMENT, SELF-MANAGEMENT, of everything that internally, physically and physiologically we are, but we cannot control it in its entirety, nor the structured environment in front of us, nor what is happening to us. During our journey, in fact our nature is not structured, it is variant, changing, predicting but not certifying what will happen, neither how nor when, clinging to believe that we will have self-control one day , it is internally agonizing, Psychological Noise (I invite to read my previous article about it), which in the long run, will weigh like a rock, moveable only with the help of a machine.
We are not ROBOTS , we are HUMANS , one of the many species of living beings existing on our planet, we with the particularity of being able to communicate, think, reason and above all we are capable of feeling through something as beautiful as sensitivity and the tenderness created by those situations of other LIVING BEINGS (human or not) that come loaded with truth, authenticity, knowing how to travel with it, for each of the stops that the thick and solid rope has , which is self-esteem (personal, work , family and social) .
In addition to what has already been mentioned in the previous section, the environment of our life is never structured no matter how much we get stubborn. There is absolutely no control of anything , other than the unique internal management of each one, but not controllable in the way of showing oneself, since they are habits in an act-reflex situation, recommended flexible to evolution, through everything we feel inside, keeping us whole, united to life .
Doctors, for example, do not have control of situations, despite the scientific basis that they know is not 100% accurate , that is why they respect their code a lot, and they tend to be based on statistics , apart from being many investigations with an execution approach. application through all the new technology already available on the market, such as the facilities created in the new hospital of the University of Navarra , recently opened in Madrid .
The Meterologists who base everything on very precise predictions, but not exact, in addition to not having the wheel where to mark the type of desired weather, temperature, rain, sun, clouds and sun, snow, with winds of one gust or another, the formation of hurricanes, … etc … we don’t really have control of the force of the sea, of how it hits the rocks, or that tsunamis are not formed, … etc. However, if we can manage habitat places where we are not so at their mercy, and other ways of facing the beauties of our nature .
From the time we get up until we go to bed, of the 99% we have absolutely no control over anything , no matter how much THE PSYCHOLOGY , and “many of those professionals”, insist on selling us the opposite, abusing the BASE terminology SCIENTIFIC for everything, not respecting our own identity, wanting to start it, walking like ROBOTS without a soul, nor development of our magnificent five senses already explained in the PSYCHOLOGICAL NOISE article and suddenly when they are lost you do Mindfulness, and its oriental technical variants, which by the way are fantastic, truly usable if your internal development reaches high levels of self – esteem , to maintain the teachings of these techniques in the day-to-day of our days.
At a sporting level, CONTROL is so abusive , be it in whatever sport, tennis, soccer, etc … , both individually or in groups, through people at a tactical and internal level, wanting to control every detail to the millimeter , wanting or rather pretending to have everything under control, inhibiting the true potential of each one , as well as at the institutional level, full of disagreements, where the guilt of anything is something external, we do not see emotionally, in the end we resort to “easy “, to external factors such as help support, such as cameras or control systems, more judges or referees, … etc. or any other occurrence, but The main problem is neither working nor knowing how to work it, because those who should be psychologists through psychology, do not even know where to start, pulling for their comfort robotism (and do not even think about questioning them, that they lose !!).
“As long as we do not work on the emotional part and all its variants, in referees, judges, managerial coaches, players, … (in people), the errors will continue, being more and more bulky, we will abuse more of the video camera systems, without clarification or clear vision of the final conclusion of most of the plays, without joint agreements, breaking the rhythm, the identity of the sport and the injuries will continue to increase due to the noise that accompanies the attempt to control “
a) Authentic motivation is the quality or ability, full of solid enthusiasm, a common goal, to connect from the inside and activate yourself permanently, with rhythm and intensity, without confusing it with acceleration, a very frequent detail in tennis , with consequences very important in physical and mental health. There are four factors that mark a true motivation:
- Commitment to yourself to love yourself.
- Respect for the people with whom we work, or with whom we have some type of social or individual responsibility, jointly as a team.
- Respect for our profession and everything it represents and can influence.
- The love, affection, conscience , with which things are done.
b) Interested motivation is the quality or ability full of disinterest, intermittent, abrupt activations, full of much acceleration and immediacy with very important consequences in physical and mental health. There are four factors that mark an interested motivation :
- Lack of commitment to yourself to love yourself.
- Lack of respect towards the people with whom we work, or with whom we have some type of social or individual responsibility, jointly as a team.
- Lack of respect towards our profession, and everything that it represents and can influence.
- The armor of the ego, between defensive and attack, that is, movements that start from the irrigation of the envelope, the box, but not the content.
I always say that when we want to support the organization of an event, solidarity activity, … etc …, we must be very careful in supporting those acts, since knowing only the packaging , the box , always attractive, because although short term “in appearance” does not pose any problem, however in the long term, if the people “protagonists” have remained in the interested motivation , where all the closest environment and what is much worse the social referents of their profession , day by day we have been watering them a wrapper, box, without solid substance inside, with this we will be inviting said “protagonists” people to live on the edge of the precipice, of the window, although they intend to intelligently conceal it in the face of the public, then that is when we will take the rest of our heads “for not having foreseen it or anticipating it.”
“Motivation is in relation to the threads of trust, a superficial set, depending exclusively on them without a stable self-esteem, with its thick and solid rope, it is the same as selling yourself before life, not only harming you, but also the people around you that you are in charge of, regardless of age “
THE SELF STEEM
It is the solid and thick rope that unites the four fundamental fields that make up the life of every human being, personal, work, family and social, being the starting and ending point, the personal area, without generate any type of attachments, inclination or idolization, frequently used as support crutches, when our rope is broken or frayed close to breaking, and not living on the threads of trust either.
Self-esteem is non-physical matter, that most exciting treasure that life may have given us to each of the living beings on our planet, with the main difference that human beings have the ability to reason the thoughts that occur. in the mind through the emotions. What does this mean?.
That life does not follow a linear structure, it walks between many curves, with high and low peaks, traveling through very pronounced peaks, it is a sign, both up and down, of a frayed self-esteem close to breaking, or already broken , living off the threads of trust that are generated through attachments mainly between work and family areas, and vice versa to completely external emotional or physical events .
Life situations in which a very high percentage of society lives, in which I do not recommend living, because sooner or later they will suffer more than they should, due to the super rooted attachments created with too much force, sustained by leave everything in the hands of the threads of trust , always temporary , never permanent, without having our true MENTAL STRENGTH, the rope of SELF-ESTEEM, behind that gives us sustainability and emotional stability in the face of any slope of life, be it low or high.
“As is frequent it is to observe more and more on the rise, people for the loss of a relative (regardless of the way), break with the boyfriend or girlfriend, streaks at work, … etc … once passed that high or low peak, regardless of the age of the people, they are unable to get up, attack the wounds, accept them and seek the solution to heal them in a definitive way, they get trapped in attachments through threads of trust, who are the ones that lift them up again and again temporarily, apparently, but without the consistency for a really happy life …? “
“Self-esteem needs instantaneous experiences (their knowledge), they are always at the exact moment even though it seems invisible to us, they are in front, and we must let them teach us the lesson of the day, as a supplement to the internal work carried out, something similar to studying a language in the country of origin and not vice versa ”
“There is only one self-esteem, but it can be upward, a consequence of excessively strong threads of trust and attachments, or downward, lack of love towards oneself, loving oneself, … etc”
THE THREADS OF TRUST
Term invented by me, at least I have not seen it anywhere, it is what I consider as, very fine and sensitive threads, based on the belief about yourself of a certain duration in time and strengthened by external factors or attachments , which to live from them is to be sold before life , something very dangerous, not recommended. You have to be brave and attack the wounds of self – esteem, train it and work on it because it is worth it in the long term.
The threads of trust are generated through ties or attachments , especially family ones, due to an excessive over-protection or a lack of limits at the exact moment (not before or after) in the stage in which our personality develops, which includes childhood and adolescence. Once we are pre-adults, we will vitiate those deficiencies, we will tie ourselves, harming the rest of the areas (personal, social and work), conditioning our decisions, behaviors and search for life.
Then, once as adults, they will have become hard rock habits to break, not impossible, but they will require a great commitment to make them more flexible and begin to impose our hidden identity on the other, through a very hard and suffered work of self – esteem , that in turn is accompanied by experiences that allow you to observe and put into practice what has been developed, casting the ego through an irrational fear that is what binds us to those threads of trust, as attractive as dangerous in the middle and middle time. long term.
“The threads of trust are life killers, all people or material goods are situational, to adhere to them in an intense way, is to steal space and time to know yourself, develop our true creativity, and to live in the emotional freedom that is he commands and demands us by nature “
“The threads of trust through attachments tie you to situations devoid of content, because of qualities / skills / values not worked on and wounds from the past, which take you away from a permanent integrity and integrity through decisions that they are already contaminated by those needs to cover what we lack with someone or something external ”
“Breaking the threads of trust to the detriment of our only support, our own self-esteem, is not being selfish, it is seeking to BE YOU”
They are very strong links or connection to different external factors, ties, such as load-bearing walls for standing supporters, strengthened by the threads of trust, nowadays apart from in person, also through all the flattery, applause, likes, subscribers and the obsession to obtain more, developed through social networks and YouTube channels , which unleash attachments to solidify too much, at the cost of the internal destruction of human beings through their ignorance and non-existent stable self-esteem.
Attachments act as deceptive short circuits of our mind, in order not to face the truth, our own current internal reality , invites us to create a character, interpret it, and over time believe it as if we were that person, silently moving away with time our identity, of our inner self, which eagerly awaits, to break that armor created in the tunnel of attachments through the threads of trust .
Two types of existing attachments:
a) Humans , a family member, a friend, or a simple group of people, the creation of an idol, …
b) Materials , any type of object, car, bottles, … etc ..
Both cases try to satisfy some areas of the self-esteem not worked or damaged of the person in question, that is, the rope at some point has frayed threads , without working, and with the passage of time, they increase, due to the support in the attachments through the threads of trust , causing it to break or fray at some point for more points, creating a much more serious emotional situation in the corresponding person, who sometimes even oversteps the limits that PSYCHOLOGY can encompass.
“Attachments make us travel with one end of the rope always belonging to another person or material, as soon as the opposite end releases its rope, also taking the threads of trust ahead of us, they leave us an existential void, without a sense of life nor logic, causing a fall that is dizzying, where getting up without reattaching ourselves to a new attachment and threads of trust, a self-deception as a means of escape, is very difficult, but not impossible if we are brave through a commitment to ourselves ”
“Attachments in the short term can be symptoms of relief, but in the medium and long term they are a death trap, that if they are watered by the threads of trust, trying to break them and get out of there, it will be difficult, due to the need to breaking habits, including certain social positions, that may be less pleasant, but if you manage to achieve that stable and strong self-esteem, you will not mind, you will slip, you will break them, found your BEING, the one who will never need the threads of trust to stay standing ”
EMPATHY AND ASSERTIVITY
Empathy is the quality or virtue of putting yourself in the place of the other, a definition that we all know but in practice it is a very complex quality to develop, basically because of a clear commandment in the objective of its execution, it is that if you do not have a self-esteem solid and stable , that is to say that thick and strong rope , that unites all the layers that make up a person’s life (personal, work, family and social) , without any frayed thread , because to which there is a frayed thread , it means that something has failed in the development of self-esteem , and as much as possible, you pull towards the threads of trustFrom there, developing empathy cannot be applied adequately, and it is impossible for it to exist at that point.
Assertiveness is the ability to say or transmit things to others (human or other living being) in a way that does not hurt their feelings or emotions . Obviously for this it is necessary to have the quality of empathy developed .
Here two points emerge to be very clear:
Without empathy there can never be the assertion , however if there can be empathetic without existing assertiveness .
Without authentic, solid, thick and stable self-esteem , through the thick solid and strong rope that unites all our life zones, it is impossible that Empathy can exist .
“Both words, empathy and assertiveness, probably in this last decade are the most pronounced or read in the media or in conversations, being a few more words in our daily language, staying in the visible, the external, which implies confusion, apart from being null and void, due to the complexity they represent due to the work process involved in their development, although they appear to represent simplicity “
It is what people popularly call THE TALENT , if you are one of those who follow my blog or my networks, you will have observed that you will never see me use the word talent , I hate it because it does a lot of damage to people’s minds , through the limitations, the entry of unnecessary pressure, self-deception and generating the odd blockage, but above all because of the dirty discrimination that this word entails.
The ability is the quality to adequately develop an action within a certain context, regardless of the level reached. It is obvious, the earlier in age it is started, the easier it is to develop, than to do it in later stages, entailing the need to apply the quality of patience and time .
Skills are always there to perfect them or develop new ones, knowing that if it is in improvement we will have flawed habits , in which the new skills acquired must be imposed on the old, on those seized vices , not impossible, but it requires time, patience and courage. . If they are of new development , they will suppose an internal challenge , with the necessary fear for the respect to where they step to evolve but without being manipulated by the context of others, apart from making us better physically and mentally.
The serious thing that happens with skills , in children, adolescents and adults, is when you are in a group or within a collective, we observe that some of them develop the ability with “more facility”, we start to give a shit that they are people , we start with labels and pigeonholes, which although we have someone who is taking longer to develop this skill but at the same time is showing us different very good ones , we are unable to see said situation, not even the most important internal emotions , which It informs us of how it is inside and outside of there, being expressed in many unlikely ways.
“The subjective hierarchies created occur because of the way we look at things, and if we change them we would be surprised at how different they can be. Stable self-esteem and empathy are key to changing the way things look”
“Within a group there are many people with many skills, looking at the one that stands out the most initially is easy, looking at everyone the same, observing those skills that are more hidden a priori, much more difficult, but more rewarding for the group”
“Nobody is more than anyone, nor less than anyone, each one develops their ability in their own way and time, that must be respected, through their feelings and emotions , because it usually happens that the first is the last and the last the first ”
Clarify that this concept is not the same as Intelligence or being Intelligent , a term that refers to the ability to make use of all the resources that the living being (Human or not) has at its disposal to facilitate the development and realization of A homework.
If we base the definition of Emotional Intelligence , in the proper context of the words, it would be something like that, like being intelligent through emotions. Being intelligent is something that with the passage of age and time, we develop intuitively, a quality that travels with us, now the field of emotions , is much more abstract, much more complex, which requires other qualities derived from a sincere commitment , honest and authentic with ourselves.
If we want to define Emotional Intelligence in its deepest connotation and closest to everything that it encompasses as a whole, a more exact definition would be: the ability to expand absolutely our entire field of movement, our range of action, including our decision-making , interpretations, analysis, forms and ways of seeing things through the connection with our higher self , own unique, rising to deepen strongly in our deepest interior, creating us from that inner zone, a communication, clear, transparent and conscious, navigating from head to toe, and back again, flowing without interruption, in aactive listening and broad development of the five senses (sight, hearing, taste, touch and smell), all in parallel with our nature and the environment that surrounds us, being our essence, and we are a component of it.
In one way or another, reaching this level or state , is to put the icing on the cake , that is, if you take a cake, you assemble the different layers of the cake, between half flavors, then the layer that covers everything, and at the end the figurine, the candles or any other decoration you want, that being the icing on the cake. In Psychology, in the personal area, which is the starting and ending rope, the bases would be self-esteem and everything that it encompasses, the flavors, all the personal qualities that you can add, empathy, assertiveness, active listening, emotions … .etc .., the final layer would beThe love for your authentic self and the icing on the cake, would be to add Emotional Intelligence , to reach this point, it is the maximum level that every being can reach, but it is very difficult to access, then once there, it can continue to be perfected.
“Concept that for many Masters or courses, in management, emotional intelligence and coaching, or other related that we do or do, including studying the concepts in the career of PSYCHOLOGY, no book is going to teach you, they are learned and developed in the street, through suffering, having all the doors closed, and proving to yourself and others, their different reactions, especially through the experiences that life gives us at the right time, with the information to learn ahead, leaving us, the ability to visualize it or not, to interpret it as expected or not, and to analyze in the corresponding depth or not “
“If we have really reached the status of EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE, something very difficult to achieve, simply, our own higher Self, more internal, through our consciousness and our deepest communication, prevents us from acting against our nature, that is, against everything that surrounds us, including the entire society with which we live, moving in unison with the wind of our nature, for the common and later personal benefit, if we are really opposed to that, it means WE HAVE NOT REACHED THE STATUS OF EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE, neither its understanding nor its application, no matter how much we try to give lessons in this regard ”
“Without stable and strong self-esteem, the famous thick rope already mentioned, you cannot reach Emotional Intelligence, it will not exist, because it is the first step to walk towards it”
It is one of the concepts that have been most distorted and out of focus of this new century, even with communicative cliques of sport and non-sport, with a certain air of joke, through the most common populist term, … is that it is “THE MENTAL ” . This generates incalculable damage at a social level, especially due to the level of self-deception and the PSYCHOLOGICAL NOISE (explained in the previous article that I invite you to read) that we constantly generate, in the end it invites us to look for exits, as a way of escape, but they do not turn out to be long-term solutions.
This misuse and definition of the MENTAL FORCE concept , due to the treatment that has been given by the media, the world of PSYCHOLOGY with its professionals at the helm, and also at a sports level, the coaches themselves, starting with the veterans , caught offside, out of place middleweight and overdone youngsters .
What I understand by MENTAL STRENGTH , is the following: it is the ability to add multiple other abilities that may or may not be present, such as mental agility, mental resistance, motor skills … etc., apart from generating an endurance, much more intrinsic suffering with a sense of happiness, the factors that form the fundamental pillars of what lends itself to being called MENTAL FORCE , are stable, solid self-esteem, thick as the famous rope, already mentioned and all the variants that encompasses, few are not, and of course the icing on the cake is emotional intelligence, without these factors, MENTAL FORCE does not exist and will never exist , there is a natural process and that cannot be broken, we would already speak of other concepts but not of mental force.
“An athlete can be polite, respectful, intelligent, with good technique, … etc …, but if he or she does not have solid stable self-esteem, the already famous thick rope mentioned above, neither its variants nor the final icing on the cake that is emotional intelligence, we can talk or be talking about many other very different concepts, other stories, …. such as mental agility, mental resistance, coordination, … etc. but never mental strength, we must have this very of course, let no one confuse us ”
It is the ability to make a decision, to execute it as quickly and intensely as possible, but without acceleration, in that reaction-action period, playing with space-time, until finding the hot spot from which to start. Mind-body communication in sport has to be clever and instantaneous. In TENNIS it is the predominant skill, in addition to being very necessary, as it is an act-reflex sport , generally confused with MENTAL FORCE.
“Mental agility, for life as for sport, is like a macro photography lens, it does not need a wide field, that is, it is not related to self-esteem and its variants, or to emotional intelligence, but to close detail, the anticipatory reflex to the obstacle ”
“Self-esteem and its variants, together with emotional intelligence, does not mean, although they are not related to mental agility, that having a high development and stability of each one of them, together with high-level sports practice, supposes a plus in improving the strength of said mental agility ”
The Sports Approach
In this block, I focus on two points:
- Sports psychology , is a branch of applied psychology, in this case sports, but there are also emergencies, legal …… something that I’m not quite agree.
- Sports recurrence in this case in TENNIS .
Simply for me, there is no where to take it, it hurts, because in itself clinical psychology generates significant damage, these applied branches, in this case sports, such as emergencies, legal, … … all of them taken out of the very recent hats, stick the needle in the wound without scruples or sense of life and belonging. Because PSYCHOLOGY, through my knowledge, my experiences, my ostia on the street, and my phobia with which I must live for life, have taught me so many things, it should be directed exclusively towards life, because people should never be taggednor dealt with through them, they are living beings, human beings who travel with our inner state through each of the parts that make up our life (personal, work, family and social).
In the case of sports psychology , which usually ignores the internal emotional state of the person, and focuses on a “supposed improvement of performance” , through this, what I have managed to appreciate so far, is that they push athletes, towards a Russian roulette with no way out , between attachments and threads of trust , sometimes strengthened by great mental agility , but with intermittent storms of PSYCHOLOGICAL NOISE , which the stable and solid self-esteem , through the necessary thick and strong rope, is usually lacking, non-existent and they sell us all of this, with the permission of the media, in an empty smoke, already super populist called LA FORZA MENTAL !, a joke in bad taste, because the damage is horrible and the contamination to new generations speaks for itself.
If we are going to be so deluded , ignorant , not naive , because naivety , gives a lot of naturalness and spontaneity , to believe that by going to a psychologist , most of them very few trained, apart from that PSYCHOLOGY, still do not know where to stand, beating from left to right and vice versa, without cretery or order, or thinking that by taking courses or masters, or accessing said career, selling ourselves with populist propaganda , which not only skip an ethical-moral-human code of social consistency but also its own deontological code of the profession, where it seems that all of them have the magic potion so that you reach the happy smoke of THE MENTAL FORCE from the roof , without a previous process that takes years of work and experiences, that we are going to leave with it under our arms, we are ready if we think that we will achieve it, as if it were cooking a cake.
“It is good to open certain doors, but be careful to what extent, because once the habit is created, it will have a room, being a weapon as powerful as it is dangerous, as well as silent, stopping it and breaking it, supposes the demand of values and qualities that never they have wanted to show, that is a long and winding task ”
Sports impact, in this case in Tennis
By completely ignoring the internal, personal part of the athlete , in detriment of a resultist objective , through “the supposed improvement of performance” , it generates in a human being , because we do not forget that they are people, an anguish, overwhelm, stress , breakage, greater pressure than a profession already has (sports or not) , all in the form of PSYCHOLOGICAL NOISE (I invite you to read my article about it), which has a medium-long term impact not only on the performance of the person , but on the mental and physical health of the athlete, who ends up basing many years of their existence on attachments and threads of trust, excessively seasoned and temporary, depending a lot on the freshness of mental agility , which all sports, more in individual sports such as TENNIS helps to develop it at high levels.
Rafa Nadal , of whom many coaches and these sports psychologists and even Psychology itself, who already puts him as an example in his books, have wanted so much to exploit his image for their benefit, as if he were a mentally brown beast , the little bit of it that he and his environment can be criticized for not stopping this when it should have, and in some cases taking advantage of the fans, no matter how much they buy merchandise or other things, in the end they will not be the one who can move society towards a small Better advance, nor do you do them a great favor to get out of that fanaticism, disappeared or exalted self-esteem , although in the last statements of Rafa Nadal In recent months, if there is an attempt to give sanity and maximum normality to all this, but when the habit and prejudice is already created, it is difficult to redirect it.
The three strengths that Rafa Nadal has tennisically (talking about the human would be incongruous and disrespectful because I don’t know him, although I had him at the Queen’s Club ):
- His technical ability , if you want to learn to do a good topspin, there is no better example to look at, that is many hours of training, effort and sacrifice.
- His mental agility , time-reaction in that short space-time period, simply spectacular, that is based on many hours of work on the track and getting used to any type of ball, through a great capacity for CONCENTRATION .
- His discipline and responsibility with himself, a basic commitment to if you do not love what you do too much, find a point from which to love him, and get the most out of it.
Simply, as you can see, I have not named the smoke of THE MENTAL FORCE , because I simply doubt that it has it, even if it may come close, but approaching is not having it, because there are factors that fail to get to have it, and then thus be able to develop as well. a weapon as powerful as Emotional intelligence. IN TENNIS WHAT USES TO HAVE IS STRONG MENTAL AGILITY BUT NOT MENTAL STRENGTH !!!! (among many other values that it offers for life).
The damage of sports psychologists and coaches who believe they are psychologists or who simply lack common sense, self-esteem, emotional reading, … etc., a consequence of an egocentric bubble already created or in an anxious search for it , hardened to attachments and threads of trust, super fine, which they obviously do not trust, it does not give them a supposed security of the entire environment, for me this is causing the following aspects in athletes or sports :
- Athletes with huge negative mountain peaks and huge positive mountain peaks , giving rise to a scheme of very pronounced and unstable curves, call these curves success, no matter how positive mountain peaks give you, is to see only half of a really serious problem, on and off the slopes.
- The millimeter control of all the details that happen around or rather pretending to have control of each of those details, marking a fixed route, without flexibility. Something impossible, only generates limitation, self-consciousness, and lack of emotional freedom , so that the athlete flows all his inner being, drawing all his potential, often unknown and from there improve without fear or any other external factor weighing him down, his own performance and group if it is a team.
- Increased injuries and substance abuse, when a person knows that he lacks the naturalness and spontaneity to be authentic, that free flow connected to its interior, which note that nobody listens as he would, the absence of one empathizing her feelings , emotions , with time, delicacy and sensitivity, makes him keep too much inside, and the explosion goes to either side, harming himself a lot physically and mentally, probably also causing an obsession for wanting to perform at all costs, that he abuses substances to the limit of doping or infiltrations or cuts in the recovery periods.
- Poor spectacle at a sporting level , inside the court, outside of it, with all the technology, the speaker and fans, it is never missing, but now inside it is much less, because the athlete internally, no matter how good intentions he may have, due to the three other points, he will never be fully empowered to give the best of himself.
“PSYCHOLOGY should be unique, for life, without applications for job labels, our brain-mind-body is one, wherever you are, each place has its small nuances to adapt, but our identity should not change due to It, playing with it, raising a smoke, confusion about terms needed to learn in the street, in life, that is why in these terms so on everyone’s lips day by day too, it would seem more interesting to listen to people who have done the military, or are part of national military corps, by land, air and sea, assigned for seasons to territories truly in need of the closest thing to MENTAL FORCE, both there and when they return to their country of origin, after seeing, feeling and live with little less than peaceful situations,These stories, along with many people on the street, are the ones that we should listen to the most, because they are the ones that can be learned the most ”
It is a derivative of PSYCHOLOGY , which has appeared as a result of the existing malpractice in PSYCHOLOGY and the internal Chaos that they have in their entire spine. It is too dangerous to see, like anyone with a course or master of a few hours, they are already a coach , without more, no knowledge, or real street experience and what is likely, internally injured, using those courses as an escape route . It is to throw our hands to our heads !!! (That the same way as explained in the first part of the article).
Coaching is an advice, a basic guide to a subject, without clinical analysis, it is not qualified to help anyone with affected self-esteem , regardless of the severity, unless said “professional” has a highly developed street experience with highly applied, internalized and evolved knowledge, a situation surely unlikely and even in psychologists / psychologists themselves.
“A misuse of coaching, due to lack of many hours of eating shit, of learning from below and having very clear knowledge, will only generate a very strong grip, agonizing towards attachments and the threads of trust, self-deceiving, killing the person in life, little by little ”
“Coaching tends to be too superficial, starting with the house on the roof, skipping the state of the bases, designs, load-bearing columns and their need to work on them”
PSYCHOLOGY , if we refer to the definition of science, it would not know to what extent we could consider PSYCHOLOGY science as such, which is clear, the important influences on the part of philosophy, biology, and even Religions , for some also Astrology . Simply, if we asked ourselves the following question, what unites them and what differentiates a priest / priest / monk / nun and a psychologist?, it would give us to write long and hard, which if it is clear both are in charge of books with a lot of weight-emotional charge, which requires reading or studying them, with zero prejudices and preconceived opinions of others, in total internal freedom for one to get their own own interpretations, from their own common sense , presumably stable.
What terrifies me in the XXI century, apart from the influences of both branches, is that of the media , in a very beastly way on a social level. In recent years, it has been a constant to observe a number of people who have read psychology books or documentaries , some by authors more commercial than others, with the psychology section in bookstores, increasingly wide, or the immersion of infinity of courses or masters related to Emotional Intelligence, Emotional Management, Leadership, … etc. and coaching , where we are all coaches and have coachees , or our own access to our own career.
It is a real madness, but especially in the courses or masters, the career and the coaching , there should be a serious and strong regulation at a universal level, because in order to understand and internalize them, you need to be in a very high emotional state , it is To say with the very solid , the thick rope from beginning to end, very few are prepared, because that entails a very long process, much more than just a placebo effect, it is a personal work of its own , an exciting personal project, probably the most exciting one that a human being may have in his life.
PSYCHOLOGY is plunged into an INTERNAL CHAOS , which in the end also affects society, its vertebral structure, he considered it a major error, the inventions of applied psychology , it does not make sense, much less to base its application on LABELS , on this labor case. Although each work field has its small nuances, it is made up of human persons, they want to maintain the same personality and identity in each field of action, because the person is physically the same in each space.
Two of the toughest brands that society has to live with, which are habits, and labels, consequences of those habits , in many cases from children, bounced off competitive sports practice, or the development of some cultural activity, where from very early you are judged for what you do and not for what you are , leaving aside the work of the personal part , as adults, that can become very vitiated, all the misfortunes of the world can happen to us, that until we see each other in bed prostrate, we do not react to agree to break those habits and labels, that prevented us from potentially working without sparing limits to reach, perhaps too late, although it should never be too late.
It is too contradictory that a branch such as PSYCHOLOGY , regardless of whether one works in sports, in hospitals, in law, … etc …, born to generate an internal well-being for life in people , base its work on labels Have the concepts mixed , all chaotic, and without unified criteria , causing the coaching to appear due to its incompetence, forgetting the main thing about respect for the person.
We should be aware, whatever the work environment, that around us we coexist with other living beings, sometimes animals of another species, but usually human beings, each one with their stories, their emotions in the corresponding state , but not a propagandist product from which to get everything possible at the cost of his own life, sold on his own, loss of identity and its multiple internal consequences, also at the expense of doing things with a higher quality in the corresponding profession, in the that leaves an authentic stamp towards others.
BECAUSE WHAT WE ARE, WHAT WE ARE OUTSIDE, WE ARE INSIDE , everything begins personally and ends personally, even if it goes through work, social and family life. ALL OUR EXISTENCE-ESSENCE PASSES THROUGH THE PERSONAL ZONE without attachments or threads of trust, through the thick and strong rope , whatever happens, it will always keep us standing.
“The feeling that the only advance that psychology has achieved is to generate much more PSYCHOLOGICAL NOISE, through the populism of many psychological terms, which in the past we called it in a more natural, more everyday way, and with less repercussion for our interior, such as: ” post-vacation sleepiness formerly wanting to touch one’s balls or wanting to be lazy , formerly anxiety episode being scared shit , diogenes syndrome formerly being a piggy , messy, ….. etc …, in short, playing with society at the cost of health, the engine of our life, the internal “Most common solutions, the abusive use of pills for everything …
“Using coherence on the part of those who can influence socially is a first step … to get closer to that self-esteem, its variants, among them emotional intelligence, desired by all, to that term of happiness so sought after, and in sport to a cleaner and less liar performance “
Faithfully with affection,
A lover & respectful of the values and spirits of whatever sport but specially The hidden on tennis .