Dear reader, on the concept of EMPATHY , from your most human side, I would like before getting involved in this article, invite you to take a look, if you have followed my blog for a long time and but also, two old articles published a time on PSYCHOLOGY , and PSYCHOLOGICAL NOISE , in a way to understand a little more the definition of empathy , from populism, it may seem simple, easy, that does not require anything, more than an articulated gesture and a feeling of compassion for you, in On the other hand, when it comes to truth, in fact, it is a much more complex concept to apply, really very broad but at the same time fascinating, if it is carried from a level of sensitivity and special sweetness in intensity.
Allow me, dear reader, to remind you, as I have commented in previous articles, that it is essential and indisputable, the development of a SELF-ESTEEM , strong, solid and thick, without being based on Self- confidence or Confidence, who are really the ones who go down or go up. , in sensations and intensity, being very thin strings, because from them being so delicate, it is very complex, almost impossible, that EMPATHY , in any of its phases, can be brought to fruition, the thick string (SELF-ESTEEM) that which It stands firm, it holds us at the same level, it neither goes down nor rises, it is had or not , it is the key to achieve a level of EMPATHY, reading the situations that we face in front of, well above what is happening in front of our eyes, managing to anticipate and lead us to a quality of life greater than the previous one both for others and for yourself.
Another reason, which leads me to write this article, delving into it ( EMPATHY ), valid in any area, but in this case they are the subject of INJURIES in sport and THE JOURNEY of athletes throughout their careers (tennis players or any other sports athlete), together with the internal damage, and collateral damage in this regard; especially at present, where everything is getting out of control much more, bosses are blocked and with distorted visions, businessmen and sponsors with fresh money, exhibitions, etc., psychological and technological chaos, being the most serious, the attitude and aptitude of the trainers,in their different tennis categories, but starting with those who should set an example, they are a reference to the rest, the TOP, or ex-TOP, at the end of the day they do not stop being human beings like the rest, basically because they are the point of anchoring, the most important emotional push of the true protagonists, THE PLAYERS. (The subject of the coaches is very long and I will deal with it in another article, it is tremendous and worrying).
I am very clear about the following (experience and compelling reasons):
“Empathy or rather the very low or poor quality of empathy is the first stone that causes injuries, the increased risk of physiological injury, with a negative force of mental dominance, the first thick rock being psychomatization, in turn. sometimes leading to low self-analysis of realities and in turn to the opening of any toxic and contaminated channel, moving further kilometers away from our source of global health the more we feed this road map ” (CARLOS AZUARA.)
Assuming that you have read the aforementioned articles, and making a small reminder about the basic definition of EMPATHY, according to the RAE :
1. Feeling of identification with something or someone.
2. Ability to identify with someone and share their feelings.
The ability to put yourself in the place of the other person, through an honest path, clear of obstacles, full of a sensitive, perceptual and identifying intensity with a soul completely devoted to the cause without expecting anything in return, in which The only way to raise empathy to very high levels is by adding the ability to be assertive , the more assertiveness you have, the stronger and more intense the empathy will be, taking out all garbage, avoiding any sign of psychomatization and unreal beliefs, in benefit of the potentialization of their qualities, leading the other human being to a considerable exponential increase in performance, unexpected by the unknown of said ability to achieve.
“You can be empathetic but not assertive, but never be assertive without being empathetic” (It depends on the interior of oneself in the levels in which you want to move).
THE THREE KINDS OF EMPATHY
Knowing the basic definition of what EMPATHY is, I hope you have the concept very clear to move on to the following, so understand it and assimilate it accordingly, for me, the three kinds of empathy:
1) The empathy of knowledge (Simple fact of being a human being and a living being). It is the one that usually comes from the factory since we are born, it could even say, since we are in our mother’s womb, especially it is consolidated in our childhood, and that takes root over the years, it really is a type of mere empathy, limited, without excessive resourcesin which to be able to rely to generate personal growth as well as in the person in need of help; basically because we have never felt or have been made to feel or have given us enough value by anyone in our environment (I include coaches or tutors of external subjects) about the need to work internally in search of development and growth with more potential tools outside of the limits of one’s beliefs and habits.
“It is the empathy of copying, our empathy of knowledge is only a transcription of previous generations, what our eyes see we replicate, sometimes with tiny essences of our own, it is cheap empathy and without effort or sacrifice, it does not lead to any side more than the simple selfish or self-conscious feeling of feeling internally pleased by our actions or reactions. ” (CARLOS AZUARA)
2) The empathy of the experience (Sharing a similar experience). It is one in which we share a similar experience with another human being, or even sometimes a path of it, we base much of our reactions, actions or decisions on the sum of those experiences or the comfort of that path, creating inflexible beliefs, Habits, and abuses in the use of temporary patches of all kinds of unimaginable (supposedly useful), constantly, which leave us stagnant, usually without individually delving into each of the experiences, usually staying in the superficial circle without rooting all the potential It is true that on some occasions we add to both in spices the empathy of knowledge,simple drops, but at least our walk of life, our sports performance, will be less limited, but something characteristic of it is falling into a frequent and very strong psychomatization and a very limited interpretation of lived realities, far removed from power. live in the maximum capacities of our human being.
“There are never negative experiences, be they sports or outside of sports, in life itself, they are all positive experiences, although they may seem like a well full of mud, they all have hidden tools to empower ourselves internally through a process composed of different phases, which require time, patience and the empathy to live it , to change that imagined mud for a crystal clear cove ” (CARLOS AZUARA)
3) The empathy of living it (Personal development at very high levels, always incomplete, because it never stops propping it up) . It is the most powerful empathy that any human being can have, it is simply brutal what can be achieved, but it requires a great internal commitment on the part of oneself, it is not that rigorous commitment that we usually have with many factors external , human or material , it doesn’t matter, that kind of commitment is useless; This empathy requires a total change of the screw, but in the long run with patience and time, years of work, then it is very grateful at all levels, in the same way, that it is not enough for us to cling to our factory empathy, neither to our empathy of experiences , nor to those feelings of self – confidence or confidence , that thin rope that goes down and up so much, needs us to arrive with the thick rope that forms that Self-esteem, which no one can take from us or weaken it super solid, strong and thick, which have led us through a work process with its different phases through experimentation, compression (listening), integration and peripheral visualization, naturally respected by that force of the uncontrollable, whatever we call it, So that our work process is completely complete in its entire global set, there the small details of each of the phases have an essential weight,not easy to see, feel and integrate because of how hidden and “apparent” things seem.
“Empathy as an absolute source of health, eradication of injuries and addictions, greatly simplifying the tasks to be carried out, in which you dedicate yourself to yourself, your neighbor and for each task to be carried out on a daily basis, there is a passion, a love , a capacity for understanding beyond words and non-verbal lies, you enter the soul more foolish but more pure, because you know that it has a meaning, a sense of life, an essence that gives melody, chords to create that song , your song, that special song without scratches or hooks that break the common thread to make it sound. ” (CARLOS AZUARA)
* Empty boats have a lot to say in the empathy of what has been lived , and of all the wealth that fits there, main and natural ingredients, with no more resources than those that nature itself gives us, there is nothing more beautiful than going to collect them to the field, such as the collection of a few good kilos of tasty blackberries among the brambles, where what is recorded is not the amount of blackberries taken, but the enjoyment of a whole natural journey including the creative journey itself of the varieties of cooking uses.
THE LIMITED AND DANGEROUS EMPATHIC GUIDELINES OF VARIOUS PROFESSIONAL SECTORS
Image Consultants: Their analysis or help is based mainly on a matter of protocol, knowing how to be, body positioning, signals and information of all the non-verbal part that human beings have, the way we dress, colors and clothes that we use. ..etc … It really is a very good help, invaluable, with a great impact, especially in our level of thought and communicative speech with ourselves, obviously much more if you are in the empathy of what we have experiencedor at least close to it, however at the same time it is an informative chaos laundry, since in the short term it can be very useful and work very well, in the long term, the character will eat the person, the internal areas were forgotten or misunderstood, the wounds silently got bigger, since that character was covering the true motor that sustains us on our feet in the face of any type of gale without the need for any external support. These professionals help and intention is very good, but at the same time, it is very dangerous because it does not take into account the essential basis of the human being.
Theater / Cinema / Music: In this case, the less external noise the better, seeing and observing how it is currently, they follow an inverse line to image consultants and even to that of many psychologists, they tend to work a lot on emotions, open them, express and they transmit from the inside to the outside, but uncontrolled, in disorder, at a point of madness, without absolute control, to close a wide open door again, due to that lack of understanding about it, surely very based on the first empathies and second, the shortcomings are notable, that also makes for a greater lack of cleanliness and naturalness in the filming, in my opinion.
Psychologists: Many have looked for their own answers within the race, the answer lies within, in the development of what we have experienced, in entering exponentially super within ourselves, searching, ordering and greasing all that machinery, before they go to complex states, of extreme difficulty. I believe that the institutions do not have much interest in making a more than necessary conceptual restructuring, as well as this absurd appearance of the Sports Psychologist, “psychology is for life” , to base or pretend to help someone based only on “performance”, is to skip, to literally take you ahead of the constructive basis of any possible maximum potential to bring to light, everything that is not working from there, is to deceive the player, it is to put an annoying and deceptive noise in them that is unsustainable in the long term, no It is useful for practically nothing, I consider it a very serious irresponsibility.
Motivators / Coaches: Very based on the exterior, basically the interior does not exist, they pull a lot of infinity of conviction techniques, tricks, people skills, accommodated with many body gestures, as well as a whole text content that is what the People want to listen, making those people supposedly feel that power, strength, leadership capacity, energy, that it is nothing more than a blind nightmare in life, living a lie that is not real, but that oneself convinces itself that it is so. Nowadays existing in all professions, social networks, television, aggressive prints on t-shirts, walls, … etc., in sport we are not less that excessive abuse, and without deepening, based very much on the empathy of experienceIn the long term, anxiety, stress, or other high-risk factors, it is common to see them appear.
Physiotherapists / Chiropractors / Physical trainers: Without being able to create a therapeutic climate, they themselves would greatly facilitate the work, generating a truly brutal contribution of knowledge to the patient, full of wealth for life, but I consider that unfortunately in very few cases this happens. Here is a very curious detail that is really important, divided into two:
– Stretcher process: Here there is an emotional, intrinsic, very important and necessary demand, where to enter internally within the patient, a compulsory muscular connection and to generate a truly extraordinary work facilitation.
– Rehabilitation Process : In this other case, the emotional requirement for rehabilitation is much lower, with a very good physiological capacity it is usually worth it, although if we added the emotional part it would not be too much, we would enhance more, removing many mental ghosts.
That is why the curious thing about the case, hearing many times say, look at this clinic is very good on a stretcher but it lacks in rehabilitation or vice versa they are very good in rehabilitation but they loose on a stretcher, that’s why I go to this one for this and the other for this another, that is very frequent; I also consider the regulation of the work system from the boss, as well as the communication and rules between colleagues.
Tennis Coaches / Trainers: I will dedicate a whole article to them, regardless of age, if they are amateurs, semi-professionals or professionals, I will only say that the responsibility is not in the parents, nor in the environment and much less in the boys / thus, nor the incompetence of the coach to use 20,000 tools, only 4 are needed, a racket, a ball or ball cart, a net and ourselves from an empathic work high enough, as to be aware of what surrounds us , and the simplicity that it is to integrate it to someone the technique or tactic that we want, another thing is total fixation, that takes time, patience and constant insistence, the rest as I say,”It is giving us the opportunity without knowing where, creating long-term chronic physical and mental problems that are totally avoidable.”
AN EXTRA OF THIS POINT, not least, HONORED CREDIBILITY, what is our credibility? Is it real or is it fake? Do we take advantage of social networks or other physical opportunities with good will or without scruples?
I feel not only at the sports level, but in any other professional area, we can all have the courage to go with the truth ahead, being really coherent between what we offer, do and deliver to society, that is, to have an honest credibility, no hiding in the silent fear of their deficiencies and what is much more serious, not even having interest in working on these deficiencies, which implies in many situations not listening to anyone or reading what opens the box of thunder, especially the fact to skip a lot of implicit emotionsin their professional fields (I include tennis coaches), not being able to see them, understand them, or delve into them, assuming valid an analysis far removed from reality, a dangerous nude, leaving open bleeding, as they move in the empathies of knowledge or experience (the most common) or a small mixture of both, and perhaps with small hints of the third (usually rare) , throwing credibility to the ground.
Although society, due to its need to idolize, search for external leadership, a reference, always needs to hold on to someone or something to feel a fictitious abrupt emotional state , sincerely, if regardless of our state of empathy , we were loyal to our level, although not is very powerful, our work would be at least a little more effective and with a more honest credibility , but I will always bet to go to the maximum of professional performance , that is achieved by being brave in facing a challenge as great as the most demanding than a human being can face with himself, which is to reach empathy of what has been lived , achieving aHonored Credibility of Greater Potential and Constructive Influence.
“In tennis as in any matter of life, a person can never come to you in less than five of self-confidence or confidence and leave with less negativity than they came, at least, although being their thing is to leave positive, at least it can serve them for build self-esteem so as not to have to rely on any fine rope of self-confidence or confidence, be it a child, pre-adult or adult, if it is a child or let’s say because you leave it naked against the parents, the rest of what happens on the track is training or competition is worthless. ” (CARLOS AZUARA)
EMPATHY WHERE THE ATHLETE USES TO FIND
In the case of an athlete or artist (actor, musician …) with a tool under his arm from an early age, labeled family, work and socially, they tend to remain in this empathy of knowledge , adding small touches of the empathy of the experience , having no need, or feeling obliged, or having been taught by anyone involved in the development and search of internal tools that generate self-esteem , usually basing the entire path of life, on the fine rope of confidence or self-confidence, and in external factors, knowing that it depends on the hypocritical slap of the moment, the practice, the rhythm, and its ups and downs, never linear than the discipline itself and much more life itself offers us as naturally.
“The athlete is an unconscious that will always pay attention to what they tell him, because he is only interested in making his dream of being a tennis player come true, of winning, winning and winning again, lifting tin trophies, and being number 1, the character always being above the person out of habit, they were never forced to change their panorama. ”
The athlete who later becomes a coach, with just an empathy as limited as it is poor in constructive richness, without depth or a high level of consciousness , remain anchored in that same rotating wheel with its particular cabins, but without direction or guidelines that generate a constancy, a permanent regularity in development, in the journey, beyond the results; In the end, they fall into repetitive and ineffective beliefs, routines and habits , into archaic and protective levels of thought against themselves, limiting themselves and those around them, surely also, leading to agonizing psychomatizationsdue to a lack of real knowledge about themselves, because let’s not forget that the empathy of what has been lived , that number three for me, is within the pyramid of personal development that I would draw, in the highest part, a previous step towards an intelligence emotional extension of unlimited territorial extension , never leaving after underpinning every detail to be reinforced.
I fight insistently, to be a reference for it, to change the following thinking of many players:
“If you haven’t been a player, you can’t be a coach, because you don’t know the dressing room or the needs that players need” (basic and limiting thinking, pulling towards fear).
I want to tell you the following,
“Any person who has lived his sport since he was a child, above names, has felt it, has bothered to know him from all four corners, and above all is able to add his own very deep, intense, resistant and transgressive personal development, maintaining a great internal cleanliness, which then allows us to access a huge consistent empathic force necessary to achieve the highest peak of every human being, emotional intelligence, reinforcing and underpinning every minute detail day by day, is without entering into comparisons, really very qualified to be a coach and help you a lot more than what your own expectations lead you to believe ”
Now the question is,
Who is the first to take the risk to take this risk, to make a decision against an entire work environment, social, personal, with bad looks, that would not be very convincing about it, and waiting with the hand ax for failure ?
PEP GUARDIOLA SMART PLAYERS, THERE ARE AVERAGE, THERE ARE VERY FEW GUYS
It was unforgivable for me not to finish the article mentioned said words of Pep Guardiola in an extensive interview for GolTV, really very interesting and that there is no waste to take notes, of the many he said, allow me to stay with this one about what there is means, very few intelligent footballers, capable of interpreting the game, and with another note that no colleague of his profession has to go to tell him anything, if he is not really inside nor does he know his players, nor because of the particular external situations that each person may be experiencing. one, where being the inside, and his second or his coach or anyone else has to come and say hey, be careful that this ….., so that someone from outside comes to tell him something.
Pep Guardiola , I consider that unconsciously he opened a fundamental thread, which I am extremely passionate about, in addition to being very enriching and that empathy has a lot to say about it:
That lack of the players in having intelligence, vision, ability to see the spaces that apparently there are not in the field (in life too), where more and more it is being reduced in any field, in this case, sports discipline , It is nothing more than the empathic scarcity due to the journey through the desert that the trajectory of most athletes passes, without a sense of essence, with coaches with a personal exaggeration close to phrases “cliches” , basing all progress on the technical , physical, tactical, and in digital-scientific supports, which instead of being reinforcements, are psychomatic substitute products of something irreplaceable, which is the personal construction itself, we do not let it go, we plan and limit decisions,We pretend to be brave but we are not brave , we want to control everything and that does not exist and will never exist.
If before judging, we were able to listen much more to what is small and hidden, being able to decipher its code to open the lock, in other words, to create a personal development so powerful humanly as to achieve that empathic capacity to what was lived, intense and spent by her, to get to transmit it to every human being that we meet, we would allow ourselves the luxury of being surprised and surprised by those people whom we influence for their growth and increase in performance in permanent regularity.
Regarding colleagues by profession , when oneself in a garden, one is able to smell the flowers, to feel, perceive, observe, if he is able to walk through the garden, stop and move his head in tune, however if You go outside, walking around, skirting every corner, you will be able to increase the beauty of appreciation above what you thought you were capable of seeing inside, but you have to be close, from outside to criticize, is to leave behind the most important informative details , where the coach himself should have a sufficient level of consciousness in turn with a really intense and strong empathic force to know how to get the most out of the people at his disposal.
“Believe me that in the face of any professional external situation that each player can carry on his back and carry it to training or the game, every coach or human being with a great empathic capacity, in unison with the predisposition of the players, created from the beginning avoiding any habit is capable of solving it, without the need to see people fall into abuse of external supports, such as medicines or other negative routines. ” ( CARLOS AZUARA).
and remember also:
” The empathy of what has been lived , source of health, every human being who reaches it and adds to that empty boat a whole sum of qualities of resilience, will be able to face with total integrity and resource capacity without any type of external addictions any Complex situation of any kind that life puts you in front of you, humor, smile and love are always very good first allies for it but not the only ones. ”
Faithfully with affection,
A lover & respectful of the values and spirits of whatever sport but specially The hidden on tennis .