Dear reader, from my point of view, the ages are composed of four stages: the infancy, the adolescence, the adult and the old age, with their respective links of connection, their hardness, their depth and their wealth. All of these stages have a huge relation with whatever profession even tennis, the situation in question that I want to focus on.
Start from the moment that the baby (you dear reader, me, the others and the news babies come creating new generations) takes off from the womb his/her mum. From this second one, our emotions are working, in one or another direction, but already are doing of us who we believe that are really, however to be honest it can be moulded (in the following stages) like a mass of clay letting that our real essence no keep hidden anymore.
In this stage, dear reader, from my own experience and observing, think that is very important the inner love, the connection with the baby, the listening, the freedom to let that the baby teach you, fall over alone and get up for himself/herself as well. They are just children, only want to play and learn, no destroyed their way to communicate theirs wisdoms, theirs curiosities,..etc they don’t want to damage to anyone, just want to play (like that learning). They are authentic and pure!. aren’t they, dear reader?.
This stage finished about 11 years old, or maybe 12 years old, although many people will say that about 9 years old, humbly think that between the 9 years old and 12 years old is created the first link of our wonderful chain of life, because emotionally take a little bit more time to balance our physical changes with our mental changes.
Dear reader (parents, teachers, coaches, or whatever another worker you are) remember that very well, because is the most important, for me is the key to see a magnificent results, Never Never Never the child must adapt (“amoldarte” in spanish) about you if no all the opposite YOU must adapt about him/her, observing, looking, listening and paying attention, and then they are who will give to you the key in a natural way of how you have to manage the direction that they wish, don’t interrupt their process.
This stage begin in full connection with the stage of the infancy; in the first years of this stage till 14 still existing some fringes of our infancy but after really start the stage in a serious way, where if during our infancy how I have mentioned a bit above we have been who have obligated to the children adapt about us, then is when will start to feel more externally their hards changes created in the before stage.
Ah, but careful! these changes unstructured were yet on the table during part of theirs infancies, other thing is that one didn’t have the enough vision to detect that in the infancy, reasons?, a lot of excuses that leave in your imagination, dear reader., but capacities to have stopped on time that had and have, however, once that it cross the line the stage without being detected, then will explode and will hand it to us on a plate to see with ours eyes clearly (at least like that should be..), then it gives us other opportunity to correct the situation where think that now is very difficult no see that, however sometimes use the next mediocre thought: “Na, don’t worry it is the change, the hormones and the novelty” With the animals…. dogs, cats,…etc…happen the same thing)…miggg.. Wrong!!, it is a big and very dangerous mistake!.
They are saying, please listening, I want a long chasing with you, want to express my feelings, my doubts, my fears, my little problems (“so big for them”), for this one pay attention, about all in the last years of stage of the infancy if it was late and the child is now in the adolescence, observe, look and listen, let to him/hem throw out all his/her worries that has in his/her inner, no interrupt, need your real love, your empathy and your advices but in that order!.
In the case contrary is when the children arrive in this stage in very good conditions, introspective, however also in this stage can produce some traumatic change where are no able to manage very well the different emotional situations, obviously can be probably for two options: first one, because is no mature yet or even maybe, the second one this can be worse (sometimes during our adult and old stage as well), when our life follow a constant line without any hard situations, no answers, everything positive, so do of them very weak in their inner although for outside they seem the most strong people, but really they haven’t been trained for painful and difficult real situations.
You know, dear reader, sometimes have to use the acceptation, in others more frequently the listening, yes, yes and yes, listening, and listening, no think that you have to say, in your mind, before that the adolescents has finished to talk, listening and listening very well, insist a lot in this point, because is the key together with the observing of theirs signs facials and corporals…in this way you might initiate a constructive dialogue, important to remember about breathing and feel that in front of you have adolescents with hungry of knowledge but in the same time with fears about all to the new changes that feel and start to happen around of them, too much information to absorb and understand.
Both cases have that look at different ways, In the first case, they are already rebellious (concept with many definitions that will talk in another article), disobedient, cheeky,.…etc…, in the second one, they are more shy, reserved, in other words with many difficult to talk through the words, you dear reader, will need to be more patient, a lot the empathy and assertiveness as well. Honestly from my point of view is very important to manage it in the first years of theirs stages, because is no the same to do that when the children have 14.15,16,17,18 years old that when they have 25, where practically have left the adolescence forever to start the next stage the adult with three links (eslabón, amarre in Spanish) together.
Because in this stage, dear reader will be completely signed for how have been theirs childhood and theirs adolescences, also if theirs personalities have been broken in benefit of the Egos and Servilities of the society, in other words, a personality healthy or corrupt. Looking since other point of view, of course if it is broken to haven´t worked during the infancy and the adolescence every one of that smalls details that have gone signing theirs growth and theirs feelings repressed that encompass every one of theirs decisions of adult, and of course theirs self-esteem and security in theirselves (All workable).
It is very clear that if the personality, I mean, if the emotions haven’t been worked and have inside different level of anger, hate, sad, darkness, misery,…..etc..all that kit will have two paths with a corrupt personality, one way is broken where only you are able to move there where you feel safe, full of interests, in conclusion Egos and Sevilities, if we take the positive at least live a life, fake life but a life (although no recommend that life). Dear reader the second way, a destroyed personality, is the destruction, the complain, the expression ¿why always am I the unlucky and the another one not?, always comparison with others, envies, jealous, hate to the happiness of others,….etc… I am sure dear reader that you have already many names of both ways in your mind, even celebrities (athletes, musician, actor/actress,….).
That stage many people, dear reader, would say that finish about 21 years old, in my point of view, think that about 27, because although this stage came signed for your childhood and your adolescence, like well said a little bit above that everything can be workable and improvable, if your want to change, you can change, doesn’t matter the age, if you have illusion, motivation and force you can.
You know, dear reader, Why many of the success in sports how another disciplines was achieved in this stage between 17 to 27 years old, do you know why?, because when you came from the adolescence, if you come approximately healthy without knowing it, you come connected with your essence, full of motivation, full of the energy that our nature want of us, full of humility, full of graceful,….etc…”where everything seem go smoothly” but insist, always if you have come with your soul clean, transparent and strong, in other words, if the adults that you had in better or worst way were clever to adapt about you and no to the inverse, if no in the future everything will turn against you, believe me, our nature has more wisdom than us. The tennis is no an exception in that neither, you can see the statistics (although to this humble servant don´t like, because we must live the moment present without unnecessary pressure).
What happen after the 27?, I ask you, dear reader, how is possible that many people have broken with their past life that they had to start a new life completely different and closest to theirs principles?. I am sure dear reader that have already more of a name in your mind. In this case what happen with an athelete?.
The answer is very simple, it is a very easy click of though, 1000% sure about that, who better to know to get used to the adult stage, the mature, who much better bring the emotions worked since the childhood or even who have worked it after and who better adapt to the new environment that the life have prepared for us, in definitive who is willing to adjust for a shift that the own life ask us for, will be that person and only that person who walking to up, and the rest of the people or living of the rest on your laurels of theirs young career’s success (anyway poor inner) or even maybe (more frequently) some self-destruct of their owns lives.
The mean difference between the stage adult with the adolescence and the infancy, dear reader, is easy, when are children, no thoughts, no worries, mind clean of whatever bullshit unnecessary equal happiness life, in two words, clean personality but when cross the definitive line of the adolescence to adult, start the stupid worries, the shit in your mind,… in conclusion our disconnection of us with our soul, start to think too much, is like take a glass and fill it of anxiety, nervous, fears, shy, what people are going to think about that,….etc..more and more and more…till do of ourselves a dark box and closed creating a specie of bomb inside, obviously some day it must explode if before haven’t done anything step to step to avoid that.
For all that us, the human being, who are a field of emotions, here and there, who really learn to manage that in a very well way, is who will open the dark box forever, after there are no a way to backward, in fact, you won’t come back to the past anymore, and then will see in front of you a garden full of flowers, and no a garden of hell. For that the emotions are very important know how manage them is the key of our happiness, careful with that manage is does’t have the control, never will have the control but if the manage!!!, but to manage very well the emotions and never, never, never are flying over you, there is a factor essential and very important, that in this case in the tennis (also in the life), so have seen a lot (I have suffered it as well), talk of the somatization (somatizacion in spanish, dear reader will go in depth about that in other article), for my job and my experience of life, I am observing that in the tennis is very frequently as well, but with the own feeling of that they don’t have too many conscious about that, so it is bringing to a way known like auto-deception (autoengaño in spanish situation that I know perfectly as well). Finally all the combination generate anxiety, stress, illness in your body,…etc..the risk up too much.
Therefore, dear reader, when cross definitively the line of adolescence to adult, be careful of how do it, how leave our mind working, the energy that let to cross our limits and finally finishing to come in of us, the cleanness that do to our mind, know ourself and our body very well, so is very important to come back to where the injury is, 90% in the infancy or even adolescence, or even in both, thereupon work, work and work about self-esteem first, knowing the end goal of everybody is to be happy and realised inner (both concepts that will tell in other article), and after the manage of the emotions, like o no like, the human being are a huge field of emotions where don’t have the control but if the manage, how well I have mentioned a little bit more up and I don’t know any number one sport athlete, that after of the transition of the age without this previous job have got to be number one in his/her sport or even has come back to get that.
Anyway, dear reader, remember the life demand to us a big shift, always, nobody is exempt of that, like o no like, that is the life, our nature like living being require of us that shift to manage of the best way possible every step or obstacles that will find in our more long stage, the adult, till arrive to full the happiness and peace to the old stage. Because we won’t be younger anymore, in this period our mind start to be really contaminated of everything that round our journey (in many of us started in our infancy or adolescence), life say to you “or you put a stop to all that bullshit or you will death before of time”. The consequences after the shift is a way that dear reader every one have to know for oneself but always will be gratifying.
I am a person of those who think that never are olds, the opposite, young matures, because never, never, we must lost the child that everybody have inside of ours, nor in the adolescence not even in the adult stage, from my point of view, it is something essential to keep that child live with us, always will keep us aware and wake up of everything, with motivation, and will be a great help to find the balance between mind and body, our inner peace; all of that to make us a great strength pure, clean and rich, allowing that we develop the capacity (wisdom) of how deal every obstacle that life present us a lesson of more knowledge, so dear reader keeping the child plus our previous good job realised (a spirituality clean, pure and a understand scientific about our body) in our before stage, the adult, will get to do of us always a wonderful young matures, where after the young matures should be who sharing their wisdom, the authentic wisdom with the rest of the people.
In this case, there are many people, even in tennis as well, with a destroyed live, that when arrive to this stage come living of “the rest of the laurels”, theirs names, however their real wisdom always keep inside of them, taking advantage of people with illusion, young motivation, their fascination for, or even in other different situations but never healthy; to some degree if one stop, take a break and think about that, come to the conclusion that the situation is surrealistic, in my case the world that concern me the tennis, a world well organised in hierarchy, step to step most close to be a the sport just for a few “privileged”, I put it like that in inverted commas because really on this way I am sure without any doubts that there won’t have any growth but if a vicious circle, so far away from whatever wisdom.
That stage could be a fountain of wisdom and wealth to many generation the coming from the infancy and adolescence stage, think that is very sad that young matures arrive to the old stage charged of Egos and Servilities, in others words blinds. Sometimes ask myself if they don’t have sons, sons of neighbour, nephews, nieces, son of friends in whatever of the different before stages mentioned, and even if have some grandparents still live to follow listening to them more.
Because, dear reader, our grandparents, they are a big young matures, with a lot of wisdom, intelligence, tenderness, like said an author “if we change our way we look the things in the same way the things we look at change”, would add if you do that change at look the things, then would see it smalls details which hide the essence real of our life, being every day of your journey a garden of flowers in spite of our difficulties dailies”. “The hard of life depends of the level of importance that you give to the things”.
Maybe dear reader, how say once a philosopher “If we teach to the children of between four and six years old during five hours one day for week to reflexion about the compassion, maybe would be eradicated a whole generation of violence” maybe like that when they get to be old, come with more respect for the old generation and for futures new generations. wouldn’t it?.
This stage goes from the 55 years old to reach the death, hopefully many years later, although sometimes could start before of the 55, depends of mental state of every person, will finish saying isn’t worth that with their wisdom and theirs experiences of life bring all of that inside of them till their deathbed. What can be better that you share your real, honest and deep wisdom and experiences of life with the rest of the people to leave your legacy here on the earth?
Faithfully with affection,
A lover & respectful of the values and spirits of whatever sport but specially The hidden on tennis.