When in March 2020 the Politician lockdown came up while I was traveling for a couple of days on my City, Madrid (Spain), then got caught “quedar atrapado” between cement around of myself, even although could go out, you are still placing your steps about sidewalk that innerly sign to oneself that was moving between cement and walls without leaving behind of oneself any places that could open to nowhere around of me, as it would be a forest, the ocean or whatever other place where the own personal root and the nature of the place was respected on as well. Then once move out of our root, add that the mentality that our society has on nowadays are not ready to face up the most of the issues that have to manage day by day as pieces of our own journey of life, practically is quite impossible to find someone that manage the situations without any kind of external help as are able to work our inner give us a lot of fear, so prefer to hold our rope to the gregariousness path on, sincerely I don’t mind if is about politician issues or education or coaching – personal growth or nutrition (herbalife for example) or whatever other areas o kind of pyriamidal development,… at the end is to travel on the same boat that don’t let that your personality is open out.
” If you are spaniards and remind so well the case of Jose Antonio Ortega Lara, who was a long year and half trapped between small 4 walls, so the case got in me a lot, for as was living my childhood and my teenager period, even obviously that surrealistic situation that the politicians were doing to live to everyone in, so I wasn’t willing to go back as after have make a solid and strict job in that just look ahead in.”
While was trapped on Madrid that two months, just before it was opening when got that my teeth was repaired (two months with that on the air) quickly took a flight and went back to my room on London, UK, on that period was living at Turnpike lane (North London, UK) from the first moment that put a step there was receiving on my face an authentic crash of reality, because nothing was being the same that was living at Madrid, on that same period, even there the ” lockdown ” was extended till july. After of that on my job most of us were fire off, i tried to work again, but coudn’t get to find anything, restaurants, factories, hotels,…etc…. or got contacts or then is really hard.
Once that I was on that situation, days were going over, after that I received a call that my grandmum was very sick and that would be a matter of days on, as I didn’t want that my last memory of her was with everybody were wearing a fucking muzzle apart from everything that you had to do to be able to go and back, decided to keep at London, the best memory ever always is on the own life, always try to represent that she taught me; then weeks after when got a notification that also would have to leave from my sharing home (end of contract + ilegal place to rent on), so invited me to make changes, so started to ask myself, Carlos, maybe is right moment to prove new adventures, places, so meant to take all kind of risk as have usually done on my life, because I don’t have fear to anything at all.
As said on the first paragraphs, although dear reader, you could think, well but London is also a big City, is surrounding of cement as well, sincerely if you personal opinion is that, then I must say you that you don’t know London at all, just the tourist areas, honestly London, on the same city just outside of heart of city was surrouding from a lot green areas, quite streets shining through of the light of moon and all their stars on as very peaceful and regenerator place if you want to find it, so said in other words, is as if were in a big village inside of a big city, but is true is not a hamlet ” pedanía ” but if you want is so easy to get disconnect from the journey to come back to the own root that oneself have in.
Anyway, until the situation that was facing up, where I didn’t have any job nor home on the skyline neither, even was losing all my money so faster, as on the price to live on whatever big city without getting job has the same way between the cost of the home, transport, food and etc…, in a limit situation and completely lonely, decided to start a seeking to move to some place close to the nature, it was through of UK or whatever other places that I could move on, obviously to travel for Europe would be more accesible that try to jump to other continents that I didn’t dismiss at all, in fact I would like to do it in the future, so ok, looked on France, Belgium, Germany, Norway, Austria,Italy, Switzerland.….. then on tha point focused 100% about Switzerland, but needed have some kind of contract to be able to rent any room, looked some difficult, then looked some on the borderlines of that.
In some way, when I was closing the map to an unique point, a so good ex-colleague from childhood school appeared on the skyline to say me, why are not looking on that town, Annemasse, so during two weeks were looking around of that town and other cities next to it, even was closing a room in small hotel with a girl from asia who left is a good price and flexibilty in relation to the situation that was need on, however I didn’t have so clear if must jump on or don’t, as didn’t want to lost my focus about getting my dream comming up, but on the same way felt that change was necessary to do it, then when stopped to seek on, even there was practically rejected the idea to move over there, a human being contacted with me by facebook, said Carlos I have a room for you, it is 500 euros by month, so I didn’t think about it, and two days, a day like today, 16th September of 2020 was traveling to there.
” Sleep on the street is something that don’t wish to anyone, probably even most of the society haven’t felt it to milimetres of theirselves, so keep in a bubble is as to place a breaking on our body and don’t let ourselves or who can have on charger that develop the inner wisdom that would able to place out, the difference between both fields is that on the street don’t have to pay the bill off to anyone, don’t think, don’t have valueless concern in, everything is focused in the own personal pace and an authentic inner freedom, because on the reality more sharpen that is the life don’t need the 100% that is surround you, just need yourself and your own value on “.
On my trip to go over there, I had the first intention to rent a car from London, UK to drive it to Annemase, but it was impossible as wasn’t let to cross the bordeline with a license plate from other country, after though to take a train and go to Calais, but it wasn’t possible neither, fuck off!, I just wanted to travel on my own rhythm while was able to enjoy through of trip on, so then decided to buy a ticket on London St. Pancras Station and go to Gare du Nord Paris, first time would be on PARIS!, ok, already that I had that get through Paris, and that even on the next day would be my birthday, I decided as own personal present, to stay on Paris a night and then be able to walk the maximum possible through of the city.
I arrived to Paris, a group de African guys, so think that would be familiar for them to see turists the whole time, but as between them talk and shown a great generosity to everyone, even to my person, so once that arrived to the hotel, wow it was a spanish company!!, really?, I couldn’t believe it!, I didn’t check it!. Anyway, straight away, I went to the underground and took direction to Roland Garros, that year it was celebrated just few days after on, so when I got out of the station, could see some players were leaving the facilities on, obviously didn’t get in, just made a movement to round it (big circle on), after of that walked down to the Le Parc des Princes (PSG stadium), and then now I went to the Senna River, where I made all the journey till the Notre Dame Cathedral, few months ago was eating for the flames on, during my beautiful evening through of Senna, could contemplate that there wasn’t any sing of politicians’ film that were living on, as every border of the river were full of people having fun around of that each other, or get through “chill out” areas, or just people sit down on groups or for couples around of river, with music, food and some beers, others playing sports, included tennis, where by the way next to the river on the cement was drawn a tennis court ( could see it on the picture), or some few turists with their cameras was walking along while loved the city, crossed the The Tower Eiffel,…. like that till arrive to the Notre Dame Cathedral, everything by walking on, even had time to get lost on the city, as when arrived to Notre Dame Catheral, and with my instinct to get curious for everything corner that could find on, I was walking up for really tough ramps in the opposite way where my hotel was, so I could walk for a Paris most real, after although it was late at night, about 00.30 am, I went back down by waking again, of course, to my hotel, so means that all the journey from Roland Garros, was by own foot on, till 01:15 that arrived back to the hotel, but it was magic!. Loved to do it!!!.
Next day, although could have gone by train, I wanted to go by myself, on my own energy, rent a car on the Gare Nord Paris to Annemasse, as said wanted to travel on my way, when travel by car, after have got some expereinces, honestly I don’t fucking care if it is taking, 4 or 5 or 9 or 24h to get to arrive on my destinantion that I have marked on, because have put over it my own ability to enjoy the own travel on, it start from the same moment that begin to pack everything on the car, so means I don’t know that is to be stressful about it, just to have fun and live it, I don’t mind if I arrive on my destiny 1h or 30 mins or 15 mins earlier or later on, I just want to grab it as an unique piece that is not coming back anymore, apart from loving to drive on my own rhythm, means do it with a full consciousness from everywhere where I am getting throught, so let that my memory can work to save it on, and after it can remind perfectly every detail, names, corners, spaces,….etc….. automatic details that let myself know where I am as phsyically as innerly in. Easy!!!!
However the travel wouldn’t be going like I was expected, as after I asked first on the reception of the agency (No one of the staff told english on!!!) and also on the petrol station to the own personal as to other people where I stopped to refuel, about 1h to get there to my destiny on, so my Car was a car’s gas however my french language wasn’t good on that moment, I didn’t understand anything at all, so then I refuel the wrong fuel on my car!, so on the begining it works, but when i was going up for the mountains over a big ramp, the car began to smoke a super dark colour out, Pump, pump, pump, and goodbye the red Renault Clio that had rented on!!!, so I had to call a crane to remove the car away from the highway, I went with him to small village lost in the mountain, it was dark, after had that rent a taxi that could drive me to my destination, means to make 1h of traveling by taxi, so the cost was so expensive, but didn’t have any choice, as called to my future landlord, but didn’t say anything about it as don’t like to disturb anyone on, but recognise that it was in a opposite way, I am too much generous as to don’t go to pick up to everywhere to a human being who as coming on my home or anywone who need my help and about who I am aware about it, but everyone is different and have its own circumstances in.
Finally about 23:30pm arrived to where would be my new home for the next months, it was 8 months living there, exactly in Annemasse which was on the borderline with Geneve (Switzerland). A couple of days before to get there, deleted all my social newtwork accounts (Facebook, Twitter, Instagram) except LinkedIN (obvious reasons on) and my channel on YouTube linked on my website as well, where explained many things between them the reason of my traveling, so also throw away my smartphone, and bought a classic one as I didn’t want to know anything about whatsapp or whatever other app, had relation with the messages or with other commercial issues on, I just want to be clean, and about all with myself. It was the best choices ever that have taken in a long time ago, so would do it again the whole time that it was necessary as live round of too much fakes issues on.
About it, dear reader, you can find videos on my channel of Youtube or about my own website where all of them are linked on, so over there I am talking about many of that things as the own reasoning of that traveling that I made on, anyway along of the article have left some of them to click it straight away. https://www.hiddentennis.com/aiovg_videos/simplicity-origins-simplicity-origins/Once that arrived there and got over about whatever kind of quarantine, although it wasn’t necessary at all, started to discovery the area and keep looking forward for the job that I wanted to do there, so had two clear roads opening on:
1. Nature. What do you understand about the meaning of nature?, I am sure that will be so different to the point of view that there is inside of my heart, well, during the surrealistic situation that were living on, where it was specially too intense on countries with spanish languages as some from the asian continent. Oh wow, everyone was so worry because there is something that the tv is telling us, uhm, then think, our memory is as a glass, so fragile to want to be active far away from our own fears on, so makes easy to get manipulated as if was a puppet on the street (with my respects to who try to have a fun time on), however when a servant have a long road far away from our own human education, maybe if remind issues as that my first 5 years on the labour world, everyone could smoke on the office, when was in the office or was visiting to head quarters from the banks.
About it, I still keep images on my brain so clear with all kind of details about as the smoke is moving around of it, as a white wall is transformed on yellow in barely few days on, even for the street when during a period the high level of cars was raising without limits on but still had the Manzanares river being a real river, parks being real forest, and long km of field that give a clear break on the city, and of course if it was winter or summer, you worked to adapt your body to the environment but did never make it on the opposite way like is happeing right now, in a total messy way on, that if we lift up the fake roof of laminated plaster specially next to the air conditioned, the structure and rythm of cleanileness was and is still irregular, so couldn’t imagine the air that breath on, if about that add structures of full of mats for everywhere (hospitality, in UK is much more on) or the small rugs that are placed around of the houses, which on both cases accumulate a lot of dust or spides muts where don’t exist the airflow that as can refresh or keep the place in real ambient temperature, when after are able to see everyone on the dressing room or toilets need to touch frequentely around of nose in. How many people were aware about when their sense of smell was working on 100% and maybe when it was blocked on?, because along of the our journey in relation to our kind exhibitions that is permanently changing on, but till didn’t happen that surrealistic issue have never stopped to feel it in.
Anyway, between everything that have explained on the last two paragraphs as in the begining of that article plus as was development all my story of life, where in a very firm way I wouldn’t be let that others pushing me back to a place that have already been worked for many years and is permanently grabbing new levels of inner poweful, because as society were in point of gregariousness as absurd as unconscious on its fields of action on. Once finding myself in a point where there are not a way back ” no retorno “, like that as understand the concept of nature as is to live the maximum time possible on an ambient temperature, was when packed everything and went to Annemase (France), close to Geneve (Switzerland), with the intention to work and live on Switzerland, learn a new language (French – German), and live in small humlet next to the nature, swim on the lakes or beaches (on that case quite tricky, lololol..) on whatever time of the year, about all have a sharing funny time with the own real life on, rythms more real to our own inner roots. It was my deep real inner intention!.
That intention, brought me to want to work over fields, means to work outdoor about farms or some kind of industry like that, it was with cows, sheeps, porks,….or simply collecting all kind of fruits and vegetables for hours in broad dylight, simpy wanted to be on the ambient temperature as have been explaining before. However if you don’t have strong contacts, as it is working through of different groups that works through to make small teams focused on every area, really is kind of job that at the end is moving a lot of people from different countries, groups of people that know each other from long time ago, so that groups are closing so faster and get to access in one was a tough task that if you are “beginner” about the paper, no one is gonna to trust you from the first, I was on person, online even by phone, but it was impossible, also tried in others areas, and of course on tennis as explained below as well.
2. Tennis. Honestly, it was very interesting to work in a bordeline between two countries like France and Switzerland were on, that in fact had a very good tennis structure or at least it looked like, so if was able to help some of the boths tennis federation or just on small clubs or even keep a mutual learning next to someone that really could push each other to grab a higher level on, why didn’t might to try to get that goal on?. So it was trying day by day, I sent a lot of emails, then again repeated the process once behind other, also I visited on person all the tennis clubs that there was on Geneve, even some of them on the small French cities as well, but have never got a positive answer. Also very often I spent long hours by myself while practiced in a Fronton tennis ( ” Fronton “) that there was on the town next to where I was living on, so honestly it was a wonderful location, when placed my view up, everything was surrounding for mountains, an amazing air pure and even next us there was a small creek with a path to do hiking on or just jogging to whatever direction that you wanted to do, once to Geneve, other to small hamlets while get lost through of the own nature and a lot of animals in on theirs own nature environment, also I don’t want to forget that just next to the fronton tennis was a nice Tennis Club with indoor and outdoor courts, but didn’t get to play on, as it was closed for the lockdown or other times as need to be member through of some kind of invest, I think, my feelings was refused ” contrariado “, as the Fronton Tennis is opening for everyone where even can help some people on theirs own techniques about tennis, but on the opposite side, the club is closed or when some time opened back, I coudn’t go in, however nobody can pull off my love for that sport and all the imenses reasoings that will always be surrounding my deep feelings to that sport, that in a society can offer much more about that apparently think that we are watching on.
” On the field or out the fiedl, on court or off the court, or over other areas as have developed plenty of different kind of jobs, but all of them have a same common point, THE ACTIVATION through of the develpoment of DYNAMIC RHYTHM, that is missing frequently in all areas and that save a lot of energy without losing a minimum of potential to develop out, so love to work with attitude, rhythm and without listening any kind of complaint around of me, even hate to take breaks on, barely five minutes if it was necessary, as everything is on the mind and as can give out a lot of us from our own nature and health side in “
On that last side of the article, on my inner is necessary to bring out a big gesture of gratitude to the ECUADOR’S family who adopted me there by 8 months, from September 2020 to May 2021, probably wouldn’t have the enough space to delivery all the words that they deserve in, even is wouldn’t have words for that on itself, a gesture is much worth that all the millions words that could place stuck on; although honestly have been able to rent a room in a neutral place where everyone of us are renting our own room as still is not possible to get access to rent my own house, basically for a matter about the own new language to learn on, the French, so get to speak with humans who belong on that area, although with the lockdown it was so tricky, there weren’t excuses to have done it, but could tell you, that from Annemasse and Ville – Le – Grand, could go and back perfectly by waking to Geneve, had two ways or go for the main road while crossing the main-street, next to the tram or go by the path between land and typical houses, so I took that way very often, but on whatever way barely 5% used the public transport, loved to go by walk, breath a lot of purity around of me, crossing with nature people from the place where could exchange words on english, sadly not in french yet, although can understand a little bit it and make a good reading about it.
Then, when went down saw the mountain in amazing aperture to the lake next to me, and when went up were able to contemplate the inmensity of the Mount Blanc, a privilige way that did very often, but wanted to show a small detail, when began my way back from Geneve, there was a professional hockey field, usually on the same time watched different categories to train on, love obseve as its own techniques from everyone as his psychologicals reactions as even the own level of perception that the coach was able to get in, over there made me to reflection that my abilites could be useful in context much more wide on, but the tennis is my priority know it really well from was a kid, have been moving around to keep learning from the best, and got to be enough ready to bring out, details so different as my particular psychology make it a little big different on, because the real knowledge is in your own inner honestity but will never be about a paper or much worst about the personal opinion who others could do about you, where must to analysed the context and the personal situation that are in the actual moment on.
As so well it is expressed on everywhere of a wonderful country like France is, there are three big values, ” LIBERTE, EGALITE, FRATERNITE “, hopefully that could appy it on every instant of our pesonal journey to everyone that are meeting us on, as of human could be our life, about all in that time of the lockdown but after as well to bring it out to be aware about how many times we have been able to appreciate it with dignity, integrity and courage in to us and about the neighbour as we are human, simply humans, it is something that must remind sharply in our minds.
My level of exhibition with the Ecuador’s family, together all nature environment that had around of me, included behind of the house where there was a wide field that every day were a flock of sheeps grazing on, reminded me many moments on my experiences lived on through of my village at Segovia or even on the countryside (Madrid) , where grew when the main road of that didn’t have any paviment, houses had just that need to live and could bring a food on the mouth, simply to value an level of effort that didn’t have stimulus that place in our mind an emotional noise as are living actuallly on, as would say a good human ” Eat that you waste on “ “Use that you need, don’t accumulate as physically as innerly nothing that is not being useful and will just take a lot of dust with the pass of the time on “, however to the end concept that I wanted to catch it up, is in relation to several psychological aspects, that are super hidden that apparently you can’t see on even allegedly don’t feel it innerly neither, but through of a very good tools that is not true from my point of view, anyway I am refering that understand that is a family, the development of the own same construction, about can become to be the several blind influences from all kind of colours (it is not time to develop it on) that are drawing every day on, as genetics as human in multiples aspects on, while didn’t realise about real issues that is happening on, and that after wih a great tough will be doing its own appearence on.
A teacher of me said other day, ” The medicine works about realities while the psychology work about theories – constructs “, however I would add that at the end, it is worked by humans so how and where is theirs actual psychologica dimensions is going to be too much load on.
After of that 8 months on Annemasse, France, on May 2021 decided to come back to London (UK), once I saw that my experience wasn’t working as had expected, but also as everything was opening a little bit more and that didn’t want to lost all my money that was already playing on the limits, so on that case, went back to Paris, by train from Geneve, while I exchange the trains on Lyon, once I arrived to Paris, stayed a night there again, walking along the city, between it that time was at the Champs-Elysees on go and back, after took the train to London St. Pancrass, but if must say you from my heart about my experience at Annemasse, that I have left on the way two points that made me feel a litlle bit of anger but all at the end are own choices on:
- First point, haven’t been able to work there as on Nature as on Tennis where could offer my hands as extra support more on, right now I am on the british one, LTA, hope can see it or better said I am being able to reach out the people who are on.
- Second point haven’t met with two ex-colleague from the school who are around of the area where I was living, to see them after of more 20 years without seeing each other, it have been a nice reunion…. but will be some day for sure.
Obviously if were going back in London again, it was with a very clear goal on that made sense to keep again on that beautiful city on, or got to work on big places like AELTC or in the LTA at Roehampton, but specially that last place is where had the 100% of the focus, because if in some moment would get to be at the AELTC, didn’t want to be on the same routine that was during my amazing period at the Queen’s Club, if not that could let to develop out everything that have inside and is completely ready to go out, so with the ideas and a powerful determination that is aware about that could offer details that mark differences on, made on me, that didn’t stop day by day, week a week, month to month to push out all my insistence about the National Tennis Center, LTA, Roehampton, so look just a year ago, for my birthady the 17th September 2021 got the interview that have been pursuiting for long time ago, but it didn’t work on that moment because the things was never enough on, as in the interaction human is composed for multiples factors, also there are lessons that must go to grab on first, however after that I didn’t stop to insist on, at the end it was pay off, so from the last May, I am working there, to be honest, it is being so tough even sometimes so cruel to catch up all my value (knowledge) over the variety of emotional psychological status that find in front of me (Psychological dimensions).
” If hadn’t got to work on the LTA, then to keep at London, wouldn’t have too much sense, would be moment to jump out to other OCEANS – CONTINENTS, and will keep learning on, but I am aware that on tennis, sports and psychology, can offer details simply differents and full of a power as healthy as permanent in, a kind of courage that let to flight without cheating your own wings to keep over it “
” The knowledge is going to be on yourself, will never be over a paper or even about whatever personal opinon (subjetivity) that the high porcentage of humanity do about oneself, because that perception is already contaminanted even before that you put your first step on the context, so never stop to bring it out, if is to help others or offer a human service to others, because is the life is always willing to give others a quality service full of honesty, power and integrity, to be loyal to ourselves is the fist step on “.
I WILL KEEP ON THE WAY!
I WILL NEVER STOP TO BELIEVE ON THE DIFFERENCE THAT I COULD OFFER OVER THERE STRAIGH AWAY!!!.
ALWAYS PURE TENNIS!!.
FDO. CARLOS AZUARA AGUADO.