Dear reader, I had the urgent need to openly explain my feelings that flow throughout my body, in a special way since I started working at the Queen’s Club in November 2014 until now, much more intense when the tournaments or previous trainings arrive. to the Masters of the O2 , to be honest, if my knowledge does not fail me, to be the only one who has crossed those walls without being a friend, acquaintance, belonging to any agency, or anyone, and even having been rejected in the first instance, but without never lose faith (what they want to steal from us today) or know what could wait for me behind those walls that separate the club from the street.

The truth is, I will not forget my first day, the first thing I found face to face was with Stan Wawrinka , preparing for a training session, if so, because I started just the week before the O2 , then with some other player, like a Brian Brother, do not tell me which one, because I do not finish differentiating them, especially if they come to you separately; just like that and without anyone giving a penny for me how long it would last inside, I consider more than my tone of voice, more than the Spanish accent with English, in a week I changed it, based on my work, and my good work, as simple as using common sense, and being a person, that which we are, from which they intend to distance us, but if we are human persons even if someone does not like it, that leads us to use flexibility, empathy, listening and the cordiality, should not be only for the needs of a work protocol, but for the needs of social brotherhood.

All this led to my manager offering me the renewal in 10 days, although it was not signed due to bureaucratic issues until January 6, the magical day of the Three Kings , well it was, although it is not a position that I want for life, but it was and is a start, probably skipping some steps of the life ladder that every human being has to go through; I also got the affection and kindness of many of the members, even some complicated ones, to change their character with me, because if you go in a good way and with heart, everything will be reasonable, he usually realizes, although obviously as in everything, there are exceptions.

The combinations of things that happened to me, along with my constant state of mind, smile, personal security, authenticity, I did not like and I do not like in many moments, because when you are in this state of life, where the light you see the light, and it In the dark you also see the light that teaches you, there is only harmony, and detailed focus of every detail, even if it is miniscule of what life gives you every day, because nothing and nobody, annoys a day, only yourself, in a match of You are exactly the same, with small changes of thought and perspective, I am convinced of the increase in performance and happiness on and off the court; all that ended up in some / s qualifying it as “you run too much” . 

You know that dear reader, in part they were right, probably they ran too much, and things happened very fast, evidently they uncovered some envy, jealousy and others, which is never pleasant, even more so when you have only been you, without meaning to. stepping on anyone, or doing anything with malicious intent, only focused on something called “Tennis” , and where still, due to lack of stay in the place, you did not see 100% the different aspects and details, but if you saw many others, and aware There are many people, even if he is in a tennis club, they cared about Tennis , what to me about Rugby(May those who practice it forgive me), which is very easy for them to disconnect you and divert you from your dream, if you are not careful, and you always know that you run more than necessary, your handling is in the air, with the crashing rising In percentage like foam, always measuring bar, and so I did, it helped me to continue growing at much higher personal levels and they continue and will continue to rise, not stop, because it is the part that we should take care of the most.

Months later, I saw how my experience would be much bigger, because apart from working for the Aegon Championship , it would also be done for the Davis Cup , between Great Britain vs France , and afterwards, even as a spectator, the Wimbledon Qualification and the Wimbledon Championships came. . Being my first year that I would see a tournament inside and also for the first time an ATP 500 in the Queen’s Club , because before that year they were ATP250 , their differences and pressure would have between them, apart from also seeing the Wimbledon Championships , from a point of view view very different from my previous three times (2008, 2009 and 2011), for the personal change made in a vital process necessary in each human being.

So, dear reader, every time the date approached, I was nervous and impatient, when you start to see the construction of everything that is being done for the tournament, and all the work that it entails for only 10 days a year, Although in that 2015 they were for 20 days, adding the Davis Cup , immediately after the Wimbledon Championships , the levels of nerves rose, rose and rose, there were three reasons, for the responsibility, for the unknown (I was a rookie, we are all some once in our life, although some may forget it) and because of the importance that tennis has for me , that internal feeling of now or never.

That statement sounded louder and louder in my head, accompanied by the increase in heart rate, just like this year, that feeling to which I added the saying, it’s my time, the time to help and share what You know, without cheating or cardboard, without looking for anything in return, because what gives you life back must always be seen as a collateral benefit, because I have come into the world naked and I am leaving the world naked, what can be the best gift to share? ? , Wisdom in what you love, with the permission of so many legends and gurus who believe they know everything, and learn, let themselves be taught by the wisdom of the one in front, with humility and simplicity, basically my philosophy of life.

All in all, the Aegon Championship 2015 tournament arrived , honestly and humbly, it surpassed me, even having a mini-experience, when I had the players in 2014 for the Masters Cup at the  O2 , I was unaware of everything, the operation of the ATP , the Stressful and unnecessary rhythm of the players, the characters of the players, the functioning of our department during the tournament, the mobility through the club with the accreditation, but above all, above all, who was I at work? How do you introduce yourself to them? How do you define them? , because our society, in the first moment, does not judge you for who you are personally, but because of what you have, what you do or how you dress, which those three questions made me sweat horrors, my heart beat a thousand, almost leaving the chest and the nerves in legs and arms, sometimes difficult to handle , with even states of paleness, where my reactions to my colleagues on duty were not the most appropriate, I suppose I had to apologize and acknowledge mistakes, always emotional release when you let go of what you carry inside and you know that you have not done properly.

Basically, after dear reader, the Davis Cup arrived , regardless that in our department, there was not even the best communication and organization possible, I enjoyed it much more than in the Aegon Championship , having that previous experience made me loosen up much more , but even so those three happy questions , they kept corroding my mind, because you love this called tennis, You feel that you have skipped many steps on the ladder, and that you do not see a way to make yourself known to the players, so that their vision towards me, was not of a simple staff or currito, as we would say in Spain, with all my respects towards any low position of a company or company, however I see myself with capacities, abilities for more, which you have the need to share and learn from everything that surrounds me.

Once all that period of a month and a half passes, tennis, you are left a little plof, with the feeling of having spent one of the most beautiful periods of your life, but at the same time sour, of having lost opportunities for progress, growth and advance. So you think, maybe I was not prepared in some aspects enough, it would not be the moment, but I know that I am on the way, on the right path and in the “right place” as we would say in English, to continue, to know more about it like this club and that is cooked in it. 

Really dear reader, I have spent one of the harshest 2015-2016 winters psychologically speaking, something is worth not the Carlos , of a couple of years ago, to endure what I have had to endure, however, although it seems paradoxical, it has been one of the most beautiful emotionally speaking, for the broad development in all its extension, that it has offered me, beyond what a psychologist could learn in a book, not only in the Queen’s club , but also what has been experienced outside the club, and added to previous years of life experiences.

However, returning to the Queen’s, what I experienced has been the final sum emotionally, in a wide field, hard but at the same time beautiful, because it is from there, where you will find the meaning of life, and the beauty of life, is within of you, in your handling, in your endurance, in your perspective, in your approach, …. etc … really wonderful, without going to assess or judge, what would or would not improve the club (without forgetting my own to improve ), apart from details not seen by me, that there will be infinite, for the simple reason, of the position occupied and that a person is difficult to be in all sides at the same time, hence the vitality of a good and clear communication for any task.

So with all this, dear reader, I present myself at this Aegon Championship 2016 , obviously much calmer, more relaxed, I have enjoyed it much more, being much more aware of every detail, moving freely through the already known of how everything works, of knowledge and affection that many have towards you and others, perhaps not so much, that’s life, but with the clarity of not setting any goal for myself, not now or never, before mentioned, simply enjoying, in that sense I achieved it, I enjoyed it, without However, there is still a but, evident which, right? The happy three questions that corrode you throughout your body, until you reach your mind. Who was I at work? How do you introduce yourself to them? How do you define them?

Also, this year, the intensity of emotionally lowering the corrosion of the questions, seemed difficult, especially when you have the honor of sharing the 10 days with two unusual tennis players, like Ivan Lendl and John Mcenroe, with their different emotions and moments, of course also with the assistance of future skillful young people, such as Tifoe, Kozlov , …, Spanish players such as Fernando Verdasco, Feliciano Lopez, and Marc Lopez, where this year I could see their friendliest face, last year I have to admit that it was bitter, you know not to judge without knowing, because each one has their own personality, neither bad nor good.

Also dear reader, share moments with Andy Murray, Jamie Murray, Raonic with Mcenroe , the French group, Simon, Manarino, Helbert, Benneteu , difficult not to get some laughs, … however apart from staying with the situations lived with Mcenroe , and that of the other three Spaniards, where I keep the details for myself, I am left with two situations lived with Aljaz Bedene and Ramakumar Ramanathan, Honestly, when you can unselfishly get them out of a daily predicament (we almost always do a huge problem, and stressful), there is nothing more beautiful than feeling their gratitude, not for the words received, but for the bodily sensations generated in them, that is worth more than any gold in the world. 

Of course, I will not forget to mention two really human people, Guillermo Garcia Lopez , for their humanity, and make myself see, but I already knew, that in the end an athlete is not so far removed from the rest of ordinary people, that he continues to be a warrior , and do not give up, and with Roberto Bautista Agut and his team, Pepe Vicente and Alejandro , for their sympathy, simplicity, closeness, humility and work, what can be done better and improved? Always, with those attitudes and energy transmitted it’s a little easier. 

It is true, that these three questions returned to corrosive me in many moments, even with Guillermo and Roberto as well, a situation that I will never forget, that I did not know what to do, but I felt that I should not skip protocol, nor go over the good people from his team, and that is when the game against Raonic was stopped , due to rain, just a little before returning to the track, in that minute of waiting, to receive the go-ahead from the ATP man , to access the track , Roberto, He approached the meeting point, which is the table where I am, looking at me, tapping his racket or hand (I don’t remember that detail well) on the table, telling me, damn he made me the break there at the beginning … , (with a 4-1 result before returning to the track), you stay in silence with many ideas and clarifications to be able to tell him, and you think,  what do you say to him in 30 seconds? Who am I to do it? As I said before, go over your technical body?No way, they would be talking to each other before and as I said before, I am nobody to go over anyone, less with people who have been and were being very friendly with me, so everything I had in my mind I just told him, calm down and play with my heart, I was so wide and angry, because I knew that I had much more stored inside me, unexpected and badly resolved situation on my part, even so Roberto is a gamer, who is always a pleasure , watch him play.

Conclusion I reached, after 2 Aegon Championships, 1 Davis Cup, 2 preparatory for the Master Cup at the O2 , as a worker and seeing how it works from the inside, being a spectator of all the years except one, of the tournament in my city, Since it was done at the Madrid Arena , and 4 years as a spectator at Wimbledon, on the way to the fifth (last year and this one with a very different point of view)  with this second year that I will also see the Qualificationand assistance in some minor tournaments, I have an internal feeling, and although it sounds arrogant to some, rather personal security, obviously for obvious reasons, not work, hence the corrosion of questions mentioned before, that I can help so much, to clarify so much, in a simple and simple way, without losing its human essence, because the most technical psychology I leave it to the psychologists for the street, for the day to day of life, sport is another story, as long as the person is healthy, and emotionally the steps upward are not too big for him.

In short, I want to stop being in the burladero and throw myself into the ring, as we would say in the most traditional and Andalusian Spain. Regardless of who it weighs, always from the good side of things, simplicity, humility, learning everything, even those who I have seen do what should not be done, from my human point of view and that to me They have made more powerful, but I know that what I can carry is different, simple, more or less, who has read my blog or my networks, and their respective analyzes, unusual, and different, but without fooling anyone, there they are The images are deep and beyond the technical-physical-tennis details . Ah! and when I talk about how I feel able to help, I don’t just mean ATP or WTA events, but also at all the existing levels below, but one thing is clear, the base is important, yes, but the example of the elite is almost the same or more important, because those below tend to copy those above, and if an appropriate language is not given, frustrations or some successes are seen as failures when they are not.

Thankful, dear reader, that you have wanted to read all my feelings, as well as everything that I have lived in recent years and those that I wish and hope to be able to live, along with all the projects that may come out of me, always in this rich world and exciting, called “Tennis” and from which it can be transferred to many areas of society, companies, schools, universities, ….. etc … its individual wealth if you know how to see, is unquestionably magical, and intelligible, Nor is it necessary to stop and look for answers where there are none, simply enjoy it, this sport throughout the universal globe that it encompasses.

Faithfully with affection,
A lover & respectful of the values ​​and spirits of whatever sport but specially The hidden on tennis .