WHO I AM? What else must I do to gain the credit that deserve once and for all?

I don’t know as could begin that article, but justly the last few hours of the year that have already finished were the last straw of a year that could be perfectly considered as two years in a row as four years in row or even also could say the consequence of a whole life that start to getting rather tired about have to be in a permanetly way making an quadruple or quintuple or more far away an infinite effort more than the rest to show out WHO I AM, said in other way, that how can be appreciate that there is inside of me, my whole nature essence, to have the chance to gain the credit that deserve my human inner.

Sincerely, doesn’t matter if it is on the job or in the love or about whatever other kind of relationship, but is so tough, cruel, as is absolultely disproportionated all kind of behaviours that receive back after put over there all my love, devotion and care on every small detail, as of course the rest of my potential where have never been leaving nor the time and the space neither to place out everything about all that I am really, so means that while they lost their focus and time on every details without value at all then go constantly understimated and treating me with a level of desdain that is humilliating, then I can obvserve with a feeling of incredulity how go rewarding the laziness, the evil and even whatever kind of emotional blackmail as in the same time are placing on theirselves in a line of development that sincerely is very dangerous.

I am already sick and tired ” HARTO “ , because already I don’t know that more can do to gain a credit that deserve at all through of all the power that have inside to share over there, but that never is let to do it, doesn’t matter that you can transmit your concern about situations that really are a high risk for everybody, like for example a permanently inhalation for chemical without air, or even care every emotional detail of the neigbour, or whatever other situation that always will go to grow up as the own business as about all the own performance as individual as the collectives, all of that never is seen at all, however a small mistake is converted in the perfect excuse to justify whatever choice to place in their field and that always will bring stuck a super agressive attack against the person, because they are not able to defend it through of the labour area or tasks issues if not that is justly make it against the own person issues (a dirty mirrow reflect in others to believe that it is ours).

Sincerely, doesn’t matter that it was older jobs, or on my period during RFET (sorry that the responsable man on that moment that met on the liffe was suffering some tough personal things that came from long time to get over him), or even with my own coach till he realised that could take more depth from my inner, or some houses which have lived in while tried to create a cohabitation in a point where they lived on oppression (the fears are really warnings of insecurities), or of course during the last second half of year that have already finished so it was in love’s relationships, or in the own jobs or attempts to be a job or even simply on the particular interviews no one (managers, supervisor)  take the enough brave to let me to show out everything that could do in, absolutely nothing, all is always coming full of a level of predjuices and judgements that can result terrific, because is really tough and so cruel but in some way through of a constant and wonderful job, on my case  I have tools to manage a level of situations that are in an extreme where I am totally aware, however I can’t leave to think in others (most of them) that don’t have my inner, as in that human beings situations like that can create on them a huge shattering.


PREDJUICE  +  STUCK ON PERSPECTIVE  +  JUDGEMENTS  =  MY OWN, RIGHT and dirty limited IDEA and all so on…  that is the vicious formula that is repeated without breathing in at all.  A total Submission to comfort states.


On that point, want to dedicate a serious words to all of that have read my profile on LinkedIN, or that have made me some interviews or even have worked together me as managers, surpervisor or head chefs or whatever position with a supposedly responsibility as in as out about there, the first thing is that if you don’t give example then the rest of the team will never identify values to eject in their task later on; also the second thing if want to gain a great perspective of business to place out a good level of leadership, clench strong your fist and go directly to take fearless the power of decisions on concordance with the reality to bring your person and the own business to other level that is never expected, however let yourself to be influenced or even slobbered for human beings that will never want to get anything nice for your person and of course for the own business or the industry, is apart of walking on step back also will be a result of a fucking coward and misserable as labour behaviour in the beginning with the hope that is not going to transfer to personal behaviour and that should never go stuck on someone considered or named to be a REAL leader, as also give the importance that is need in that small things that will do in very short time a tremendous change on the performance of all staff that you have on chager.


¨ Labour behavior and personal behaviour the line that can separate both fields is usually very narrow, so must be super on focus to be able to see where is the difference to be consciouness what is the ending of one and the start of another. If you are able to see that ,then the wisdom gained will show that development have gone in a healthy way. ¨ By Carlos Azuara.


¨ A real leader must be himself/herself without making any kind of performance where that pretend show out is a behaviour totally as freezen as disconnected from the wonderful demands of the human beings which doesn´t matter if they are rich or poor, because at the end, the unique and just request is to be ordinary and flexible, means that are a simple human being on consciousness of all, and that all include the hidden details without making noise. ” by Carlos Azuara.


Well, in according with the before paragraph, wanted to leave so clear a detail, because all of you will be asking yourself, why on your last jobs have been a short time on each?. All of them on Hospitality or even some Spa… as Kitchen Porter or as Spa Attendant, maybe should change the skyline and think about that the question is not rightly raised, because would be better to look for answers that respond to inner of the person whom you are interesting to discover in, wouldn´t be it, because on nowadays is a pity to say it in a little bit soft way, as is really too awful to see a lack of working like a real team as bigger as the hole of a volcano, sincerey the level of selfishness as the lack of commiment mades that there are not any care and love to do things, because the only thing that really important is the money, so all of that come in with a lot of consequences, as the for the own staff as for the clients if we talking on bussiness where could be directly affected in (By foods, inhalations,…etc…). 

And while on the lines above, in nowadays on many areas, is sad that the first that we are considered like a number, but never will be a human being or at least it looks like about that gazes, and the second that the worst virus is not about that actual situation that we are living right now, all people super happy to wear a muzzle on and pointing out to others as guilty of something, justly is all coming from the empty inner that represent a level of society that in their day by day live together to many details that step by step if you don’t take the choice to talk the things will damage seriously your inner (emotional and physical) on silence, means create a communication where is represented over there a concerning about situations that will be on charger a level of toxic totally outside of the current, is so frequently to see it through of the habits or rutines that leave us on the same point but with a fear that is more far away that simply virus. 


¨ I have moral and principles, then on places where can see that the client, the staff and after my person on the last could be seriously affected with the time, I am so sorry but can´t be on silence and don´t go to talk there about my concern, as human being is my responsability and my consciouness later on will be so grateful because haven´t done the correct if not that have acted from the bottom on my heart to help others to limit or erase whatever kind of impact in a way to look ahead before the issue is comming out while reduce our possibilities of action or even recovering ¨.


” I am not afraid to die, as have been dead for more than 25 years, but is true I have fear or better say a feeling of respect about as live around there (Outside), to get to live as the inner of my person deserves and wishes to get in, however I don’t have any fear to take any kind of responsability, I am absolutely ready for that although no one want to trust me yet, because have all the mechanims inside as do it and about all as do all that super well, so please trust and will all gain together. “


Really I am not that can do more to that the human beings stop to push my person in a poor level while try to destroy it through of fake feelings about that really want to help you, so to be honest to help someone is not about stop on dry way all his potential, would say throuhg of my common sense that is the opposite, mean about loosing the branch that to guide him to gain a powerful performance where all the sides could learn and grow each other, but to push once behind other while never stop to attack the inner of a person, now that when there are not any inner tools the only way to defence oneself is going in to suppose weak points, while keep understimating, humiliating and condemn an human essence because is outside from the common about that we are getting to used with it, that is a mere consequence to pretend to protect ¨hide¨a injuried inner while develop out trying to punishing to the next someone a psychologic manipulation that only us are believing that story, so is the called ¨self – conviction “.

I will finish the article saying that will keep with myself all the powerful knowledge plus wisdom that every experience have in for oneself if you are able to get an great exposition to grab all with a strong force and clenched strong your fist; between all of them is that want to get already my chance on tennis, deserve it more than ever, an ending example, one of that positive things, when the last 30th December Thursday on the morning, some hours before that a situation was to explode in an absolute unfair as never leave my person to show out anything on my person, well in the morning I was running for forty minutes and after played to the tennis to Holland Park, in a practice that took two hours in a great intensity through of an APP where seek a partner, so your get to agree the meeting, then go, play and bye, that is the system, is so freezen but can practice many things, well, in a moment can analyze a few details from the oponent before to take an intention out, then went to the partner to bring him a small tip about his backhand, inmediately is changed gained a level consistency and efectiveness, that minutes later on, said me to thank you,  you are right!…to be honest hate that kind of comments because no one have to have the reason to win any situation, it is simply to do the things through of a good emotional comunnication and you are able to change all in a moment.


Read and listen all time that create a shot or make a correction take many hours, months or even years, I am aware that is absolutely wrong, because the key of everything is as your have your perspective to the reality, the intention to connect with the situation, where have your priorities and about all and the last one as your transmit it, constantly see that the communication are agressive, full of imposition so come in with zero emotional communication, that are sadly many of them that come from that considered influencers of the tennis “


Thank you very much to read me, if you have read my letter to Santa Claus and The Three Wise Kings, over there have all my intentions that I am willing to bring to the tennis world as obviously give all my support about the world of the psychology so means a lot on my inner, as all the development and investigations that could do about our brain – mind and that although sounds arrogant my person is able to offer there many interesting things if the people stop to undesrtimate me and are enough brave to give a simple chance in opposite of their currents, honestly although I am in tough period in other areas of my life (finances) without any fear to whatever situation could coming up, can or can’t be to be in the street, would go back to repeat all my path of personal development till now, because always all situations have consequences behind, but if it is to be one of the most strong man of the planet then would go back to do it all times that was necessary.


” That for the actual society through of my age or other more external factors can be considered that arrive late to get all my intentions, I don’t care at all, it won’t stop me, and a lot less to let that limited and afraid inners can’t stop everything that have inside, because with a little of luck, never is too late ( ” nunca es tarde si la dicha es buena ” ) “.


” I am not drinking coffee, nor alcohol, nor sparkling drinks, nor energetic drinks,…. as also have a mental resistence to tolerate whaver kind of pain or situations that were necessary, because everything is on the emotional noise that you have in your head and about as have it place on there, in other words as distribuite  all the areas from your powerful brain. “


” The human being doesn’t need any layers on over and over, for example on winter is very typical to wear on through of super emotional hungry (noise) all kind of layers, it doesn’t matter that if it can be from the foods, clothes on or other items arounds, all come from rythms that is totally unbalanced as the dynamics as the psychologics, so will make that fatigue is on when really is fake, because THE HUMAN BEING HAVE AN ENGINE THAT CAN GO ON AN UNLIMITED TIME OF LIFE IF WE ARE ABLE TO CONNECT IN A JUST PIECE but always interfere a proccess that don’t have mental limits (my phobia and my personal development  (exposition) let me to see that with so clearity ”  


* It would be so interesting that could talk out you about the feeling or concept that is THE FATIGUE, because on the human being in an natural way would be almost fictional. ”  (A military on that could be interesting to get close on that chat). 


I want to work hard on tennis, investigation, psychologic and that from once and for all that let me to do my job on peace with all inmense level that could bring out in a very short period of time, because as have said above, all it on our mental clarity to see all perspectives and understand well all that information; although next week can be that start to work at the Claridge’s Hotel Spa and health club, because fortunately the references talk so well, but also as have explained through of an example few paragraphs above, while in the morning was practicing tennis, full of passion, love and a feeling of complementation about the meaning of happiness (the peak of a wonderful pyramid of personal development) that can’t be describe on words, and then in the afternoon/evening was on my job where everything exploded on with a feeling of incredulity, was a previous warning to the last day of the year (my phobia, who know that fact understand why could or couldn’t  work on that day in according some circunstances) and also a strong alert that I MUST ALREADY BE INVOLVED ON THE TENNIS AND PSYCHOLOGIC WORLD, THAT DESERVE IT MORE THAN ANYONE ON THE WORLD, MUCH MORE IN AN SITUATION AS WE ARE LIVING RIGHT NOW FOR EVERYTHING THAT COULD OFFER THERE WITH A FEAR THAT IS FAR AWAY FROM THE OWN FEAR TO A SUPPOSED VIRUS THAT HAVE AROUND OF US.


” That I can go back home with the consciousness that I have left over there all my skin, blood and sweat as in a psychal way as in an emotional way while I am able to share everything that have inside, giving over there all my wisdom, that is my only goal, my unique intention, that after all of that, have behind of it stuck any kind of rewards, praises or amount of money, it is ok, but I don’t care at all, because it will be a consequence of a work well done but about all that every day have been able to help someone to make the day more easy than a previous state, that is the truth value at the end of the day. “



Please stop to interrupt a process in others because you are so scared till everything that is totally unknowledge for you, a real leader must never act like that, is enough!!!.  so open your brain to other side of the wall and then will collect some feeds that blossom some lands that won’t have any way to go back and then the initial fear will have been worthwhile.


Thank you very much at advance.

Have a very nice year!.




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